


Shadow of Doubt

by saucyminx



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-02
Updated: 2011-04-02
Packaged: 2017-10-28 07:21:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 27,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/305282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saucyminx/pseuds/saucyminx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared sees spirits. It's something that he's learned to live with in a rather dysfunctional way - that is - until the next spirit to visit him is one he knows. Detective Ackles might be the one person who can help him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

As far as Jared knew, nothing had happened in his life that made him the way he was. He’d considered looking into it, talking to _someone_ , but who could he ask, really? Because there was no easy way to begin a conversation that’s basic topic was _I see dead people._ Yeah, Jared knew the joke, and even if the people who knew could be counted on one hand, he’d heard it a million times.

Not like many of those people believed him.

One had, and maybe he had been Jared’s best friend, but that didn’t matter anymore. Because Jared’s best friend was dead, and his world just got a little bit smaller. The loss echoed through Jared’s life in waves, maybe because Chad had been there from the very beginning; he’d been at Jared’s side the very first time it had happened.

For the most part, Jared’s early childhood had been normal. He grew up in middle class suburbia with always supportive parents and an older brother. By the time he was five and in kindergarten, he had a little sister and a best friend, Chad Michael Murray. Everything was _normal_.

Then it had all changed one afternoon on his walk home from school.

Chad and Jared had grown up neighbors and it was a special reward from their parents that they were allowed to walk the three blocks home. Sure, their parents were always out front and could see them the moment they left school, but the boys always enjoyed the responsibility.

On that particular day, they were taking turns running up ahead while the one behind threw a football. Jared was laughing and running, head twisted back to grin at Chad until he collided hard with a person he hadn’t seen. The old woman stumbled and nearly fell, Jared tumbling after her and skidding along the sidewalk.

He’d been on his way to push up to his feet and apologize like he knew he should but his eyes were drawn instead to a pale little boy wearing no clothes, just in front of them. It was the thinnest boy Jared had seen, hair shaven, ribs clearly visible. Jared was confused, not sure where the little boy had come from or why he was naked or how he stayed so pale in the hot Texas sun.

Just as Jared’s parents approached to ensure the woman was okay, the little boy’s mouth parted in a scream. Jared slapped his hands over his ears, scrambling backward on the sidewalk until he bumped into Chad’s legs. In the confusion of his parents’ obvious concern and the woman’s claims she was alright, Jared turned and fled to his family’s house, door slamming behind him.

It took years for Jared to learn what that little boy was.

Chad had been there for that too. Jared hadn’t shared his secret before then, hadn’t confided in anyone that sometimes he saw things other people didn’t, things that left him shaking even days later, especially at night when he lay with the blankets over his head, praying that those terrifying, pale people wouldn’t find him. It was a horrible thing to learn at such a young age that there were things out there that no one could protect him from, not even his parents.

Jared was nine when Chad’s dad died. He hadn’t known how to comfort his friend, not even when his parents sat him down and spoke to him about what death meant. It wasn’t like Jared didn’t know; even without knowing the meaning behind it, Jared was fairly certain those pale people he saw were dead. He got his confirmation that afternoon when -- dressed in his nice suit and standing beside his best friend -- he saw Chad’s dad once more.

This time, the man was in two places at once, kind of. Jared looked at the closed casket to the side, where the man Jared had grown up knowing was standing and looking on with sad eyes. He was still wearing his work suit and his face was indented, covered with blood. Tight fingers squeezed his and Jared looked down, he hadn’t even noticed his best friend had grabbed his hand.

It all clicked together after that. Three weeks later, Jared told Chad he saw dead people when he touched someone and his best friend believed him. No matter how much time passed, when they got older and wiser, Chad never once doubted Jared and he was fairly sure Chad was the only one.

He told his parents twice, and they never spoke of it anymore because the last time it had taken all of Sherri’s calming words to keep Jared’s dad from throwing him in a mental hospital. Both his siblings knew as well but they never said a word about it. Like Jared’s insanity was a family secret, like the special looks they shared whenever Jared stepped away from an incoming handshake or hug was just some odd quirk he had.

Jared still called Chad his best friend, though they had drifted apart over the last few years. Chad went off to college, made normal friends, got a girlfriend, and Jared simply moved out. He got a job at a thrift store, mostly working with donations and stocking, a brainless task that kept him from interacting with people. Jared didn’t so much like interacting with people. People liked to touch.

And Jared... did not.

Chad kept in touch, though, always called once a week, informing Jared what it was like to have a real life. He never asked Jared what he saw, but he never stopped Jared if for some reason he needed to say it. Like when an elderly woman grabbed his hand in the middle of the Ark thrift store and Jared found himself staring at a young man who’d clearly died at war, to a gunshot in the head.

That week, Chad didn’t call, though. Jared hadn’t worried until the next day, when he’d received a call from his own mother instead. Outside the once-a-month visit Jared made home, they rarely spoke, mainly because it hurt to not be believed, and his parents would never _get_ him.

The police found Chad’s body in an alley, beside a grocery bag that had spilled out along the dirty cement. Jared wanted more details when they told him the news but he didn’t ask, because he knew better, and it wasn’t like knowing the facts could change anything. Jared couldn’t understand why anyone would want to kill Chad, why he and his friend had never gotten close again, or even why he had this stupid ability that didn’t allow him to do anything at all but lock himself away.

For a week, he thought bitterly of the _what ifs_. What if he’d been a different person, a better friend? Then maybe he would have been with Chad, maybe he could have stopped whoever tried to hurt him. What if he’d called more? Then maybe... something. Jared didn’t know. Just that he was tired of feeling so helpless, and if Chad was gone, that meant no one believed him anymore.

Just when Jared was starting to accept that, three weeks after the death of his best friend, things changed again. Jared was home for the evening, microwaved dinner and bottle of beer in hand as he headed out of the kitchen. All things considered, it should have been a relatively normal Thursday night.

“Dude.”

Chad’s voice was still familiar enough for Jared to not be startled at first. He laughed softly and shook his head then looked up and… there was Chad. He was pale like all the others were, dressed in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, and if Jared hadn’t _seen_ his dead body, he might have simply teased his friend about getting more sun.

What he did instead was drop the beer and black plastic tray, not really registering it splattering over the hard wood around his feet. He couldn’t tear his eyes from the image of his friend, couldn’t wrap his mind around the idea of him being _there_.

“Catching flies?” Chad suggested and smirked, like he still thought he was the funniest person alive -- or, dead, as was the case.

“You’re not supposed to be here.” Jared finally rubbed at his eyes, wondering if his level of weird had somehow just escalated to certifiably insane. But when he dropped his hands, Chad was still there, looking... well, kind of bored. “You’re dead.”

“And you see dead people. Are we both on the same page now?” Chad shrugged and stepped forward, eyes moving over Jared’s body. “I think you actually might be paler than me; that’s impressive.”

Jared gaped, mouth opening and closing a few times before he shook his head. “I only see dead people when I touch someone. You know that. I’m- you’re not supposed to just appear. They never just appear.”

“Maybe it’s because you touched yourself.” Chad’s brows lifted. “Jared, you naughty boy, have you been touching yourself?”

“How can you possibly be making jokes right now?” Jared actually wasn’t that surprised by the jokes; they’d been Chad’s default when it came to dealing with tough situations his whole life and, well, it wasn’t like Jared ever stuck around long enough to find out if dead people had a sense of humor.

Chad sighed and took another step forward then stopped, looking down and snorting. “I can walk through things. I’m definitely using this to my advantage later.”

This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. Jared was _scared_ of the dead people he saw. He couldn’t be scared of Chad. Especially not when Chad was making jokes and being a whole lot cooler about things than Jared was. “Chad, what are you doing here?”

“Jay, man, take a seat before you pass out.” Chad gestured to the chair then chose to sit on the couch, sinking through it instead.

Jared stared wide-eyed as Chad vanished. He turned in circles as he looked around the apartment, trying to determine if maybe he’d fallen asleep and this was just... a very odd dream. It wasn’t, of course.

“Whoa.” Chad reappeared behind him, eyes turning down to the ground. “How am I standing...? Okaaaaay. I don’t get the rules. But, uh, I think I can tell you why I’m here.”

“I’ve finally gone insane,” Jared whispered, digging a hand up through his hair and forcing himself forward. Sinking down onto his armchair was a good idea because Jared wasn’t sure his knees would hold him up any longer. “This is me, having lost my mind.”

“You question that _now_?” Chad scoffed in disbelief, wandering around Jared’s apartment and reaching for things only to stick his hand right through them. “Look, man, you’ve been seeing dead people your whole life; if you’re finally about to have a breakdown, can you wait until you help me out?”

“Help you?” Jared dropped his hand and looked up, lips pulling down in a confused frown. “Help you what?”

“You mean you seriously never wondered _why_ you saw dead people?” Chad turned to him and shrugged. “Seems kind of like something I’d want to know if I got the wits scared out of me anytime I touched someone. Did ya ever think that maybe all they wanted was a little help?”

Jared rolled his eyes and slumped back in his chair. “I’m not fuckin’ Haley Joel, Chad. I’m not supposed to help all these... Look, it just doesn’t work that way. Some of them... they’re _angry_ , and I can feel it. And I know that if they could, they would hurt me.”

In the next moment, Chad was beside him, bending so Jared could see the frown on his lips. “Okay, fine, I’m not here to play Yoda or something. Point is, I’m still _here_ , and that’s because I can’t let go and move on until they catch who killed me.”

For whatever the reason, Chad’s words made Jared’s heart pinch. Maybe because the man --ghost-- didn’t hesitate laying out the facts. He was dead; there was nothing that could change that, but maybe something could still be done.

“You know who did it?” Jared asked quietly, looking up at his friend with an even deeper frown.

“Well, not exactly, but I could point them out, if I did see them. And I’m pretty sure I know where they’ll be. And I can definitely say who it’s not.” Chad grinned and looked around, like he could hear something Jared couldn’t. “The cops are looking but they’re going the wrong way.”

“And you think I can magically make them listen?” Jared pushed out of the chair and shook his head, rubbing his neck for a moment as he exhaled. “Chad, come on, how am I supposed to convince some cops to take me seriously?” Jared frowned and headed for the kitchen, snagging a dry rag from the counter so he could mop up the spilled mess in the hall.

“You tell them I told you. Come on, cops use psychics all the time. Jay, man, you gotta do this.” Chad hovered by his side, reaching out and sending his hand through Jared’s arm.

Jared shuddered and stepped back. “And why do I _gotta_?”

“Because my mom… she’s all alone now, Jared. She deserves to have some closure. She needs to know there’s still some justice.” Chad sighed and Jared was sure he’d never seen his friend’s face so serious. In the next moment, he looked up and smirked, though, canceling out the action. “And if you don’t, I’m gonna haunt you your entire life. Now, do you really want that?”

Honestly? Jared didn’t think it would be too awful to have Chad haunt him. At least then he wouldn’t be alone. But the idea of leaving Mrs. Murray without closure --especially if the police weren’t even on the right path-- wasn’t something Jared could be okay with. And it wasn’t fair to leave Chad’s spirit hovering between dimensions. For all he knew, that sense of humor wouldn’t last years and years. If too much time passed, they’d stop looking for Chad’s killer anyway.

“What am I supposed to do?” Jared whispered, biting his lip and turning to toss the rag into the sink.

“Tell the cops. I’m not asking you to go all Nancy Drew on the matter. Just pass along the 411 and make sure they believe it.”

Jared raised his brows at the ghost, his first smile twitching on his lips. “Nancy Drew?”

“Oh, shut up,” Chad grumbled and slid a hand back through his hair. “So, will you?”

It didn’t seem like Jared had much of a choice in the matter. No real part of him desired to head to a police station and try and convince them he could see dead people and his best friend was haunting him. Jared didn’t think his parents ever would throw him in a loony bin, but a cop? Well, it seemed a lot more likely.

“Okay, fine.” Jared finally nodded and tugged his fridge open to grab a beer once more and head back for the living room. “Then come and tell me what I need to know.”

-=-=-=-

If Jared had had his way, he would have put off the visit to the cops for a few days at least. He needed to go over his facts, maybe come up with a way to say he saw the murder or something, anything but the truth of _a ghost told me_. But the only thing more annoying than a persistent alive Chad was a persistent dead Chad and the second time the ghost appeared in his shower the next morning, Jared caved.

The police precinct was never anywhere Jared had been before. It was crowded and bustling, Jared had to swerve no less than four times to keep from running into someone before he made it to the front desk. There was a bored-looking man behind the counter, staring at his computer screen.

“Excuse me, I-”

“Just a minute,” the guy interrupted without even looking up at Jared.

Frowning, Jared pursed his lips and looked around at pale grey walls, tapping his fingers on the counter nervously. He hated crowds, especially in places he wasn’t familiar with.

“Do you mind?” The guy’s flat voice was laced with irritation and when Jared looked back at him, his brows were raised, eyes turning purposefully down to Jared’s moving fingers. Jared blushed and looked down.

“Sorry,” he whispered and dropped his hands, taking a step back from the front desk.

It seemed to take hours until the man was finally looking away from his computer again, turning his bored eyes up to Jared. “Okay, what do you need?”

“I have some information about an ongoing case,” Jared said quickly, forcing the words out. It took all his strength to make it this far, and really, he had to do this for Chad. “About-- a murder investigation.”

For a long minute, the cop simply eyed him, then turned back to the computer. “What’s the name of the deceased?”

“Chad Murray,” Jared whispered, still feeling that little pinch in his chest. _Deceased_. He really didn’t like the way that sounded.

After a few minutes more, the cop pushed back from his desk and nodded, standing from his chair.

“Follow me.” His hand gestured to the side and he started off at a brisk pace back into the precinct, weaving around desks, leaving Jared to hurry his steps to keep up.

They came to a stop at a desk where Jared could see the back of a head. The detective there was bent over, retrieving something from the floor, and Jared could hear a soft swear.

“This is Detective Ackles; he’s in charge of the Murray investigation. This kid here says he has some information.”

With that, the cop was turning and heading back to the front, leaving Jared there to watch as the detective straightened up in his chair. He was the kind of guy that made Jared feel a lot of regret. If only because he was, frankly, gorgeous, and Jared would never have someone like that. But Jared was used to avoiding thoughts like that. “Hi, sorry for disturbing you.”

Sighing, Jensen straightened his tie.

“Thanks for the warning, sergeant,” he called out. Pushing a half smile onto his face, he looked up and hesitated slightly when he saw the man who the sergeant had brought back. It was a cop thing -- during training, they’d had a cop bust into their classroom on the first day, and Jensen had been the only one who could describe what the man was wearing. He paid attention.

This guy was tall, dressed too well to be a student, not well enough to be much else, so Jensen couldn’t really pinpoint where he might be from. Attractive and fairly young, the man looked a bit hesitant: typical of someone with information he either didn’t _want_ to give, or information he wasn’t sure would be believed.

“Hello. I didn’t catch your name...” Jensen stood and extended his hand.

“Jared Padalecki,” Jared offered quietly, knowing it wouldn’t do well to hold basic information back if he wanted this detective to believe him. His eyes dropped to the hand hovering between them and he felt the cool, clammy sweat of nerves along his palms. He curled his fingers into fists then shoved his hands into his pockets. “So you’re the one who’s looking into Chad’s death?”

Raising his eyebrows, Jensen blew out a breath. The kid might be cute but he was gonna be a weird one. Sitting back down, Jensen pulled a notepad over in front of him. “Have a seat, Mr. Padalecki. What information do you have for me?”

Scrunching his face up at the name, Jared pulled his hands free and sank down onto the chair beside the detective’s desk. “You can call me Jared. If you want.” He rubbed his fingers over his knees as he gathered his thoughts, trying to determine the best way to begin. “Chad was my best friend; we grew up together. He- he’s not a bad person, you know? He didn’t do anything wrong.”

Jensen put his pen back down and leaned on his desk before fixing his gaze on Jared’s. “Okay, listen, Mr. Pad- uh, Jared. I’m not sure what you think is going on here but we’re investigating his murder, not accusing him of doing anything. So-- really? The biography is okay but not necessary. Did you witness anything?”

“No, I-- Look, I know he’s dead.” Jared met the detective’s gaze. “I _know_ he’s dead. I just think maybe… you’re associating him with the wrong people. I...” Jared tried not to fidget too much, because Chad said they wouldn’t take him seriously. Considering what he was about to say? Fidgeting was the least of his problems. “It’s not so much what I saw as it is what Chad saw. The person who killed him… it was completely planned. Because Chad saw something he shouldn’t have.”

Jensen sat up a little straighter, his gaze dropping to Jared’s hands. The man could hardly sit still. “Did Chad tell you something before this happened?”

“Um, not exactly.” Jared was pretty sure this was a stupid idea. What was going to keep the detective from locking him up when he deemed him insane? “See, what he saw… it was that night. Chad was dating this girl, Nikki, and her brother I guess is involved in some shady stuff. But Chad steered clear of it, even when the guy tried to get him involved. But the night he died, Chad was walking home and these guys, friends of his girlfriend’s brother, they were doing some deal. Chad recognized them and tried to sneak away but they saw him, they knew him, so they had to kill him.”

“And you know this how?” Jensen tilted his head to the side and studied the kid’s face. Fine beads of sweat had broken out along his broad forehead, his cheeks were a little pale, and Jensen could tell he was nervous.

“Well...” This was the part Jared was dreading the most, the part that was going to get him kicked out on his ass at the very best. “H-he… he told me.” Jared muttered the words, ducking his head down to rub along the back of his neck.

Picking up his pen, Jensen slid the pad of paper back in front of him. “So, you were on the phone with Mr. Murray when he was attacked?”

“Uh...” Jared cleared his throat, shifting up in his chair and looking around the precinct. If he could lie, if he’d ever mastered the skill, then maybe he could try that route. He’d never even considered that as an option the night before, but it was certainly saner-sounding than the alternative. “Yeah. He called me. He always does; once a week.”

“What’s this Nikki’s last name?” Jensen jotted down a note for himself to go over Chad’s phone records again. “Why only once a week?”

“He gets busy. And it’s Roberts. Nikki’s last name.” Jared frowned and forced his hands flat on his thighs, trying not to look too skittish, though it was probably impossible.

“You a good friend of his?”

“I’ve known him my entire life,” Jared shrugged, forcing himself to continue when the detective just watched him. “We’ve kind of… drifted apart recently, but only because he’s in school and Nikki keeps him busy but we always talked, he always called. And, he knows- knew. He knew me better than anyone else. I’m pretty sure the same goes for me with him.”

“What’s Nikki’s brother’s name?” Jensen jotted down a few notes then looked back up at Jared. His expression softened slightly when he saw how sad the kid looked. Maybe they really were good friends.

“Marcus. I- I don’t know the names of the friends, sorry. Chad doesn’t- he didn’t say them.” Jared watched the detective write once more, leaning forward slightly to see if he could make out the words. “Do you think you could find them? The people who killed Chad?”

“We’re doing our best, Jared. What kind of a deal?” When Jared was silent for a few beats too long, Jensen looked up to find slanted hazel eyes studying him. “You said that Mr. Murray witnessed a _deal_. What kind of deal? Did he tell you?”

“I think it was drugs. Chad said he- it didn’t seem like he was close enough to really make out a lot of things. But the people they were dealing with, they punched the other boy. Chad said they didn’t look happy. He figured drugs. It had to be bad, ‘cause they didn’t want him reporting anything.”

“And these bad guys didn’t pick up the cell phone to see who Chad was talking to?” There was something about Jared’s story… His demeanor that was making Jensen suspicious.

“Oh, um, no, I- I hung up. I thought I heard something and Chad got quiet so I figured he was in a bad service area or was just going to call me back. It wasn’t until my mom called the next day that I learned...” Jared frowned, trailing off before he could let himself think too much about how _painful_ it had been to learn of Chad’s death. “Look, I feel plenty guilty about it, and I know I should have come forward sooner. I just don’t do well with people.”

“Why don’t you do well with people?” Jensen tapped his pen on the paper lightly as he studied Jared.

“I’m not a- I just… don’t.” Jared looked up at the detective then around the precinct once more. “I’m just not very social. This isn’t really about that, though. That’s all I really know; do you think you can help?”

“Like I said, we’re doing our best. I’ll do some follow-up on this. What’s your phone number -- the one you were speaking to Chad on?” Jared was silent a bit too long again and Jensen frowned when he looked up. There was definitely something the kid wasn’t telling him. “Jared? Phone number. And address, in case I need to contact you again.”

Jared wished there was a way he could have left the information anonymously but no one would have believed it, and now the detective was doing exactly what Jared had feared he would. Wanting to contact him? Not what Jared wanted. “It’s 723-4905, my phone number. And I live at 302 S. Powell Ct. I work full time. So, if I don’t answer or something.”

“Where do you work?” Jensen finished jotting down the address, pen poised over the paper.

“Ark thrift store,” Jared mumbled, annoyed that he was embarrassed by the information. It wasn’t like it really mattered what this man thought of him. Even if he was gorgeous, startlingly bright green eyes, warm, tanned freckled skin, crisp business suit that made him look professional and sexy at the same time. “Can I go now?”

Smiling, Jensen looked up from the pad of paper. “You in a rush?”

“I just… not a people person,” Jared said again, his gaze sliding across the detective’s fine features, fingers curling over his knees. “That’s all the information I have.”

Shrugging, Jensen looked back down at his paper.

“Most of the heathens who work here don’t qualify as people.” Smile softening, he glanced back up at Jared and winked.

Heat crawled up across Jared’s cheeks and he smiled slightly, looking down at his hands. “Yeah, well, pretty sure they all know dead people.” He knew there was no logic to that and he cleared his throat, sliding his arms across his chest. “If I think of anything else, I promise to call.”

“Here.” Jensen pulled one of his cards out of the small stand on his desk and held it out. When Jared didn’t reach for it, Jensen made a big show of putting it down on the desk and sliding it toward the kid. “Not much of one for touching people, are you?”

“No, I’m not.” Jared reached out for the card and picked it up, shifting to tug his wallet free and tuck it between the leather. He hesitated at the picture of him and Chad, just after their graduation, arms slung around each other and matching grins on their faces. Turning the wallet, Jared let the detective see the picture. “This is us. He- he was the most important person in my life, you know? So if you can put the person who did this away... I really want that to happen.”

Jensen’s smile faded and he pressed his lips together for a few moments. “I hope we can do that, Jared. I really do. These cases are difficult to tie up but we’re all doing our best. It’s not just a line -- well, not for me. I am doing what I can.” Shaking his head, Jensen stood and extended his hand then dropped it to his desk quickly. “Give me a call if you can think of anything else.”

Pushing up to his feet, Jared nodded and stuffed his hands into his pockets once more. “Okay, I will. Thanks. Thanks for hearing me out. Um, let me know if, you know… when you find them.”

Shrugging, Jared took a step back and nearly bumped into a person passing, twisting just in time to miss them. His thigh slid along the desk across from the detective’s and Jared flushed, looking toward the man and nodding once before quickly weaving back through the precinct.

Watching as Jared took a roundabout route back out of the station, Jensen frowned and looked down at the paper.

“Jared Padalecki,” he said softly.

“You gonna ask him out, Ackles?”

“Fuck off, Carlson.” Jensen pulled his drawer open and pulled his keys out. “Just because you’re a complete redneck who drools over every _woman_ you see, doesn’t mean I’m like that with men.”

There were times when Jensen questioned his own sanity. It was bad enough that he was the youngest detective in their region, but being out was probably not the wisest choice. He was _pretty_ sure that even someone as bigoted as Carlson would have his back when push came to shove, but… it was more about proving himself as a detective than anything else.

Being handed Murray’s murder was a double-edged sword. It was a big case, in the spotlight, and bringing someone to justice would be real good for his career. However, Jensen knew that only about sixty percent of murders were ever solved. The numbers weren’t exactly in his favor.

Jensen locked up his desk and pocketed his phone as he headed out. He had _no_ idea where his partner, Kane, was but that wasn’t uncommon. They hadn’t really worked out the _-ahem-_ kinks in their working relationship yet. Either way, Jensen didn’t mind the idea of being at home on his computer with a cold beer while he tried to do a bit of checking on Jared’s story.

On the way out of the building, Jensen flipped his middle finger up at the desk sergeant.

“Gone for the night,” he called out

-=-=-=-

“So you think he believed you?”

Chad’s sudden appearance had Jared starting, nearly spilling his beer over his lap. “You have to stop doing that.” Jared glared at the ghost version of his friend for a moment then shook his head, standing up to head to the kitchen and clean up. “I don’t think he believed me. I think he thought I was crazy. But I told him, and that’s all I can do.”

“Well, what did you say? You didn’t go there, like, ‘so my dead best friend came to me last night and told me some vague details about who killed him’?” Chad leaned against the wall, fell through, and reappeared a moment later at Jared’s side. “Please tell me you didn’t open with that.”

“Yes, Chad, that’s what I opened with, and then he invited me out for drinks and told me he’d love nothing more than to marry me and take me away from the slums and my thrift store employment.” Jared gave Chad his best glare as he scrubbed the beer from his pants.

“Oh. So he was hot too?”

“Chad, seriously.” Jared rolled his eyes, snagging a fresh beer and turning to head for the couch again. “Look, I said we were on the phone last--”

A knock at the door killed the words in Jared’s throat and he spun quickly, eyes sweeping the room. Chad was gone. Not like anyone could have seen him anyway. It was probably just a sales person anyway; they seemed to frequent his building, though Jared couldn’t imagine anyone actually buying from them.

Only, when he pulled the door open, it was to find the same soft green eyes and freckled skin from earlier, and Jared honestly hadn’t expected to see him again so soon. “Detective Ackles. Hi.”

“So. I was at home having a beer and checking up on what you said. The thing is -- it’s not adding up. I have Murray’s phone records. And I have yours.” Jensen lifted first one piece of paper then the other. “There are no calls between you two on the day that Chad was killed. Not for days, actually. Care to explain?”

 _Oh shit._ For some reason, Jared hadn’t even thought about things like phone records. He could have sworn he heard Chad’s faint snort of laughter and it would be just like him to be sticking around to watch Jared make an idiot of himself. “Well, I... I... Look, what I told you is true. Does it really matter how I found out? I’m not lying. Why would I lie about how my best friend was killed?”

“The thing about the legal system, Jared, is that we have to have a clear reason for finding evidence in the first place. Now, I can confirm that these _Roberts_ people are into some shit but I’ve got no official reason here for looking, and _if_ we get anywhere, that won’t stand up in court. So...” Jensen dropped the paper to his sides and smiled coldly. “You wanna have a talk about it here, or should I haul you in to the station?”

Jared took a step back, bumping into the wall as his arms slid protectively across his chest. The threat in the detective’s words made his blood race. “Detective,” he whispered, the fear at being dragged off in a cop car was enough to make his breath tight in his chest. “I- I- you wouldn’t believe me.”

“Invite me in and let’s talk. I’ll decide if I believe you; how’s that?” Jensen sighed and tilted his head slightly as he waited.

Outside of Chad and his parents one time, Jared didn’t have people over. But this detective was a… well, a cop, and it wasn’t like Jared could really say no. “Detective, would you like to come in?” There was probably a hint of annoyance in his words but he couldn’t be blamed; it was after seven, after all. He stepped back and opened the door, sliding away when the man stepped forward. “Um, do I-- am I in trouble?”

“Well. Lying to a cop? Not the smartest thing you’ve done all week.” Wandering in to the apartment, Jensen looked around. It certainly wasn’t what he expected, which was just another piece to add to the puzzle of Jared Padalecki. It was simple; what furniture there was seemed to be clean, even if it was well-used. The walls were water-stained and some of the wallpaper was peeling down at the top.

When Jensen heard the door close, he turned and saw Jared standing there looking more than a little scared. “You in trouble with the law somewhere, kid?”

“Me?” Jared’s eyes widened and he looked around as if there was something the detective saw that Jared didn’t. Shaking his head, he skirted around the man and headed for the kitchen, stopping to stare at his beer on the counter. Somehow, drinking in front of a cop seemed really stupid, so he got a glass of water instead. “I’ve never been in trouble with anyone. I swear, the- the only reason I lied... I didn’t want you to think I’m insane.”

“What is _with_ you?” Jensen wandered across the room to peer out the window briefly before turning back to Jared. “You one of those germaphobes or something? I’m starting to feel like you don’t like me.” Trying to shift into a more charming approach, Jensen smiled slightly. There seemed to be enough _fear_ in Jared’s life already.

“Germaphobe?” Jared repeated with a frown, looking around his apartment. It didn’t seem _that_ clean. Looking back at the man, he shrugged, a bit helplessly. “I don’t even know your first name. And you show up here, it’s almost eight at night, and you threaten to drag me down to the station when all I want is some justice for the death of my friend. And you don’t know me,” he finished rather weakly, sipping from his water.

“You did lie to me. And your friend _is_ dead. For all I know, you could have had something to do with it.” Jensen shrugged a shoulder and nodded over at the couch. “You gonna ask me to sit down?”

Jared’s shoulders tensed, his jaw clenching at the suggestion in the man’s words. “No. I’m not.” He stared at the detective for another long moment then away, losing some of his nerve. “I told you, I had a reason for lying.”

Jensen sighed and leaned back so he could sit on the windowsill. “Okay, kid. You wanna tell me what that reason is, or do you want me to start guessing?”

“You’d never guess right. And stop calling me a kid; you can’t be that much older than me.” Jared was getting annoyed, or was well past it, and he didn’t do annoyed very well. But there really was no way to avoid the truth much longer. “Chad told me,” he muttered, setting his glass down on the counter.

Jensen couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped his lips. He probably _wasn’t_ all that much older than Jared, but still. “You said he told you -- so it wasn’t on the phone. Was he over here that night? Am I not understanding something about the timeline here?”

“No. Well, he...” Jared shifted back slightly. The man still had the upper hand in so many ways -- like being a cop, and Jared not knowing his name, and seemingly not even phased that Jared was clearly not pleased with him. “He told me last night,” Jared finally admitted, eyes fixed down on the ground.

Jensen’s smile faded slightly.

“The last night before he was killed?” Jensen stood slowly and walked a little closer to the counter, making sure that Jared could see him.

“No. Last night. As in Thursday night.” Jared’s gaze lifted sharply then dropped, his feet sliding on the floor as he stepped back. “As in twenty-four hours ago,” he added, just so he wouldn’t have to clarify again.

“Chad’s dead, Jared. You _do_ understand that, right?” Jensen held his hands out, palms up, so Jared could see that he wasn’t holding anything. Frankly, Jared seemed just a little too close to unstable for Jensen’s liking.

Sighing in annoyance, Jared looked up at the man and rolled his eyes. “Yes, Detective, I did see his dead body in the casket and I did watch them lower it into the ground. I’m very aware that he’s dead.”

“You had a dream or something?” Jensen leaned on the counter and smiled nervously. “It’s okay. Sometimes stuff like that can seem real and then it’s not so much lying-- it’s just-- I mean, dreams can seem real. I have dreams like that sometimes. Can’t shake ‘em when you wake up?”

Jensen stared up at Jared, watching the man’s hand shake slightly.

“No, I didn’t. Though trust me, it would have been a lot easier if it was.” Jared rubbed at his brow, lips pursing.

“Wouldn’t have been nearly as witty.” Chad appeared just behind the detective, walking a slow circle around him. “This is who’s solving my crime? There’s no hope.”

Jared bit down on his lip. Laughing now wouldn’t sell the whole _I’m not crazy_ thing.

“Okay. Jared -- I’m running thin on patience here. I think that you really need to tell me what’s going on or I’m going to call my partner and have him come over so that you and I can go for a trip.” Jensen was starting to think that Jared might be in need of a little persuasion. It was entirely possible that Jared _didn’t_ know that there was no just cause to take him anywhere.

“No. Wait, please,” Jared’s words were rushed and he took a quick step forward, heart skipping a beat at the notion of going anywhere, especially with this cop who didn’t like him and his _partner_. “Look, I know what it sounds like. But I’m not crazy; I swear I’m not. I just... see… I can-- when I touch someone, I can see dead people. Which doesn’t explain Chad; he just showed up out of nowhere, but maybe because he meant so much to me or something.”

“Oh, yeah, Jared, stick with that; it’ll convince him.” Chad rolled his eyes, walking over to Jared’s side.

“Shut up, Chad; it’s not the time,” Jared snapped, realizing a moment later that he wasn’t alone. He looked up at the cop, his jaw dropped and groaned. “I swear I’m not crazy.”

Jensen reached for his jacket slowly and flipped it back so he could get his fingers on his cuffs. “ _O_ kay, Jared? I’m a little worried about you right now. You’re not making sense, buddy, and I think maybe it’s time that you and I took a little ride, okay?” Jensen stepped closer, effectively blocking Jared’s way back out of the kitchen portion of the apartment.

“Oh my god, Jared, I think he’s going to arrest you.” Chad paced around the kitchen, his eyes wide. “You gotta kick his ass! Don’t let him get you!”

“Jesus Christ.” Jared laid his hand over his eyes for a long moment, then shoved past the fear and nerves. In two quick strides, he was across the kitchen, his hand reaching out until the older man’s strong forearm was beneath his fingers. His gaze locked on green, registering the moment of shock before he spoke quietly. “Let me prove it to you,” he pleaded.

Jensen had _no_ idea why he didn’t reach for his weapon. He had _no_ idea why he didn’t just twist Jared’s arm behind his back and slam him against the fridge. Maybe it was the look in his eyes. Maybe it was the tone of his voice. Jensen squared his shoulders and reached over to curl his fingers tightly around Jared’s wrist.

“This better be good,” he said softly.

No part of Jared really wanted to look around and find out who this man had attached to him, what spirit was trailing along after him. Or worse, at this point, if he didn’t have one at all. Jared was looking at a one-way trip to a loony bin if that was the case.

Swallowing thickly, Jared lifted his eyes and looked around the kitchen. The man he saw seemed relatively normal, an older guy wearing a business suit, and if he’d died in a bad way, Jared couldn’t see it. Which was a lot better then he’d thought it’d be. Especially considering the detective had to have some history with deaths.

“Um, hello, sir,” Jared said quietly, keeping his hand on the detective’s arm but turning to face the ghost.

“You can see me?” The man seemed confused for a moment then his eyes landed on the detective and he stepped forward. “Jensen...”

Jared followed his gaze, half smiling for a moment. “Jensen? That’s an unusual name.”

Jensen turned hesitantly to look over his shoulder quickly before locking his gaze on Jared’s face again. “Big deal, you asked someone at the station what my name is. What are you looking at?”

Turning slightly, Jensen loosened his grip on Jared and twisted to face the empty room.

“It’s not a what,” Jared muttered, shaking his head. He should have known the name wouldn’t be enough. “Um, sir, sorry, can I just- could you maybe-”

“Can you really hear me?” The man looked at Jared, a tentative smile on his face. “And you know my son? You could maybe tell him something?”

“Your son...” Jared repeated, and looked over at Jensen, frowning slightly. “Sure, sir, anything you want.”

“Jared...” Jensen looked behind him again quickly.

“Just… that I’m proud of him. That I’ve always been proud of him, even though he thought I wasn’t. I was there when he got his badge, and I watched when he made detective. I know how hard it is, to be who he is in his position, and I should have been there when he really needed me. And lastly, the pin, it means so much to me that he wears it.”

For a long moment, Jared could only stare. How was he supposed to say all this to some guy he didn’t even know? Some guy who thought he was totally insane, and he was now going to pass along words from his dead dad.

“Okay, Jensen.” Jared inhaled slowly and turned to the man, tentative smile on his face. “Your dad, he wants you to know he’s proud of you, you know, for being a cop and, um, something about being who you are even in your position. Also that he saw you get your badge and was there when you made detective.” Pushing his hand back through his hair, Jared sighed then nearly jumped. “Oh yeah, and that he likes it that you wear the pin.”

Several expressions moved across Jensen’s face as he tried to absorb the words that Jared was saying. Jensen leaned back against the counter, fingers moving from Jared’s wrist to curl into the front of his shirt.

“What? What... who are you listening to?” The tiny part of Jensen’s heart that fluttered with hope was uncomfortable, something he’d shoved aside a long time ago. “My dad? Jared, my dad died years ago. Long before...” He frowned as he tried to add up the pieces.

A small smile played across Jared’s lips then faded away as he shrugged. “I told you, I see dead people. And spare me the jokes; I’ve heard them. So, your dad, he wanted you to know those things and...” Jared looked over, brows pulling together in confusion. The kitchen was empty now and even laying his hand on Jensen’s arm didn’t seem to bring him back. “Wow.”

Jensen yanked his arm away and stepped back a few paces before dragging his hand down over his face. Sweat had beaded along the small of his back and he could feel his shirt sticking to it. His eyes moved from Jared to the empty room and back again.

There was no way that Jared could have known about the pin. Jensen had never told a soul about it. Pressing his hand to his jacket, he could feel the press of the small metal pin against his chest. The words that Jared was saying made sense but there was some part of Jensen’s mind that just couldn’t accept them. “How do you know... those things? I don’t understand.”

“Are you okay? You look a little like you might pass out or something.” Jared frowned and stepped forward, ready to catch the man if need be, but Jensen took another step back and Jared froze. “Um, sorry. I can’t help it; it just happens. Your dad passed away, right? Maybe before he told you that he was proud of you? And I guess it was important enough that he stuck around until he could tell you somehow. Are you... okay?”

Leaning over slightly, Jensen braced on his thighs and panted softly.

“No, I don’t think I’m okay. Are _you_ okay? This is nuts. Nuts, that’s what this is. How could you... how did you do that?” Jensen straightened up and walked over toward Jared, grabbing hold of his shirt and shoving him backwards until he slammed hard into the wall. “What is this shit? What are you-” Jensen’s voice broke as Jared’s hand flattened against his jacket and the pin pressed against his chest again.

“Jensen,” Jared whispered, not too comforted by the way heat quickly followed the first spark of fear that had flared through him. “I’m- it’s not a trick or something. I don’t know why it happens, it just does. I’m not trying to fuck with you or anything, I swear.” Jared was hoping some sort of reality would snap in the detective’s mind soon, or something, because this was freakier than facing a possible loony bin. And a million times hotter, go figure.

Jensen’s expression softened at the tone of Jared’s voice and he loosened his grip until he was simply pressing his hand against the taller man’s chest. He allowed himself to lean into the warmth of Jared’s body for the span of a few heartbeats and then pulled back slowly until there was a little breathing space between them.

Staring up into Jared’s eyes, Jensen cleared his throat. “My dad. He gave me this pin when I was a kid -- and it was the one thing that I kept. All the other things were gifts from _Mom and Dad_ , y’know? That pin, though. It was ‘cause we used to talk about me becoming a cop and being a detective one day...”

After staring at Jared’s face for a few moments longer, Jensen flipped his jacket open and revealed the small, aged, gold Sheriff’s badge that was pinned to the lining.

Without much thinking about it, Jared reached out and ran his finger over the Sheriff badge, tracing along one point of the star then looking up at the man. “That’s sweet,” he said softly, dropping his hand and smoothing down his shirt. “So, did you two... have a falling out or something? Is that why he thought you didn’t know?”

Jensen took a deep breath and smiled slightly. “We had a... disagreement. He wasn’t supportive of my-- uh, lifestyle and we... It doesn’t matter -- we just drifted apart and... Is he still here?” Jensen turned slowly and stared across the room as though he could somehow _force_ his father to appear.

Smiling sadly, Jared shook his head and leaned against the wall, hands sliding down to tuck in his pockets.

“No, sorry. I guess... that was all he needed to say to you. Or, well, all he needed to say. He’s gone on to… wherever it is people go when they die. Most of the time, I mean. But he knows how important that is to you, so... if that helps.” Jared didn’t have much experience in this department, the talking to ghosts and their loved ones; in fact, it had only happened once before this. He’d never learned the best thing to say.

“I didn’t get to say anything,” Jensen said quietly.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know he’d just go after that. You could, um, tell me or something? If you want. I know it doesn’t mean much but at least it’s saying something.” Jared tried his tentative smile again, not really liking the sadness on the detective’s face.

“I just wanted him to know I forgave him.” Jensen’s throat felt too tight and he blinked a few times before running his hand through his hair and turning back to Jared. “Could I… Could I have a glass of water?”

“You kind of look like you need something stronger than that,” Jared laughed softly and slid past the man, grabbing a cup from the shelf and filling it with water. He turned to offer it to Jensen, hip leaning against the counter. “You know, Jensen, your dad… he’s probably been watching out for you for some time now. I have a feeling he knew. That you forgave him, I mean.”

Taking the glass, Jensen nodded slightly and raised the cup quickly to drain half of it. Everything suddenly seemed a little upside down and he wasn’t feeling all that comfortable. “He was a Texas Ranger before he was wounded. Don’t think he counted on havin’ a son who was... I’m gay... that’s what I think he meant. Well, that I’m out at work... I mean.”

Jensen realized suddenly that he was revealing entirely too much and shook his head. He needed to get his shit together and…

“Chad? Is that how…? Is Chad here?” Putting the glass down on the counter, Jensen stared over at Jared.

 _Gay_. Jared was stuck on that for a minute because it wasn’t at all what he expected. Jensen looked like the kind of guy who’d have a beautiful wife waiting for him at home, maybe a young kid. But no, he was gay, and hot, and in Jared’s apartment. This was more action than he’d ever gotten in his entire life.

“Um, no,” Jared finally said after a moment of looking around, once he’d remembered the question. “He was here for a few minutes but I don’t think he quite knows how to control the appearing thing. Like I said, it normally only happens when I touch someone.”

Sliding back into his professional role was a much more comfortable fit for Jensen and he let out a small sigh. “But you... Who did you touch when you saw Chad?”

“I didn’t. He just randomly appeared in my apartment last night.” Jared shrugged and scratched across his chest. “I guess, maybe because I’ve known him my whole life. He just appeared and was his usual snarky, annoying self, and said that you guys were looking in the wrong places. Then he told me what I told you.” Jared looked around, assuming if anything that would bring Chad around but the ghost appeared to be in hiding.

“I’m not even sure what to do now.” Jensen looked up at Jared with a crooked smile on his face below his furrowed brow. “I just-- I should probably go. Think about this or something.” Jensen leaned down and picked up his cuffs and hooked them back onto his belt.

“You believe me now, though, right?” Jared half stepped forward, watching as the man before him slid the rest of the way back behind his Detective persona. He’d never seen anything like it before. “Those things about Chad, you believe it?”

“I’m not really sure what I believe right now, Jared. This is a little out of my league. I should probably have my partner talk to you -- he’s been on the force longer, might have better ideas about this... kind of thing.” Honestly, Jensen thought that Kane was probably the last person that he should let loose on Jared but then, it wasn’t like there had been a section in his training on _‘what to do if someone passes on a message from your dead father’._

Jared’s heart skipped a beat at the thought, something cold run through him and he lurched forward. “Wait, please, don’t do that. I... I would just… I don’t mind talking to you. I-- I feel more comfortable around you. But you know as well as I do that your partner wouldn’t believe me and I might not get so lucky with him, when it comes to the making him believe me part.” Jared had stepped into the shorter man’s space but habit of a lifetime kept his hands at his sides. “Please, just give me a chance.”

There was a look on Jared’s face that was a little too close to desperate and Jensen swallowed around the lump in his throat. There was just something _about_ Jared. It wasn’t _just_ the way he looked, that cross between strong and fragile that was messing with Jensen’s head. It was _more_ than that.

Smiling slightly, Jensen nodded and gestured to the couch. “So, can I sit down for a while then?”

“Yeah, okay.” Jared nodded and followed Jensen, hesitating for a moment before taking a seat on the far side of the couch. “I don’t tell people this very often, as I’m sure you can guess.”

Jensen let out a nervous laugh before dragging his thumb along his bottom lip. “Yeah, I can see why you wouldn’t. And that’s the-- the no touching thing too, I guess.” Turning slightly, Jensen pulled his leg up on the sofa and studied Jared’s profile. He was too young and far too pretty to be dealing with the shit he was. “How old are you anyway? Nineteen? Twenty?”

“No, though I think I’m supposed to be flattered that you’d think so. I’m twenty-three. I just… don’t get out that much, or whatever.” Jared slid his hand back through his hair, giving Jensen a small smile. “That is the no touching thing, yeah.”

Jensen looked around the small apartment again. “Girlfriend? Roommate?”

“No and no. Closest I’ve come to any relationship is Chad and, well, you said it yourself, he hadn’t called me for days before the murder.” Jared frowned, looking around his living room once more. “Well, that and he’s super straight and I’d never see him that way.”

“Oh.” Jensen laughed softly again. “Well, that’s-- what are the odds?” Shifting uncomfortably, Jensen reached up and loosened his collar. Things suddenly felt a lot more complicated and it had nothing to do with the _’spirits’_ that may or may not be lurking around the room. “So-- when do you think you’ll see Chad again?”

“Never seems to take too long for him to come around.” Jared let his gaze linger on Jensen for a moment, wondering what the sudden, slight fidgeting meant. “Did you have some questions for him?”

“Well, I mean, anything he can help us with. I’m guessing that Kane and I need to get our asses over to question this Roberts guy. Did Chad say anything since I spoke to you about what sort of _deal_ these people were doing? Marcus-- he has a record for possession of drugs; nothing for dealing, though.” Jensen pulled out his phone and checked the time.

“No but I’ll ask him about it, next time he comes around. I’ll see if he can remember some more details.” Jared nodded, glancing from Jensen to his phone then back down. “You need to go?”

“Yeah, I gotta. I’ll need to go in early and check on some stuff.” Jensen slipped the phone back in his pocket and stood before looking back down at Jared. “You gonna be okay?”

Jared stood quickly, rubbing his palms on his jeans. “I- um. Yeah, of course. Nothing unusual about this place.” Jared looked away then back, laughing softly. “Well, you know, besides the seeing my dead best friend’s ghost thing.”

“Okay. Well, if you’re good…” Jensen smiled and walked toward the door. He really needed to go home and have a very stiff drink. Maybe a few. “If you hear from Chad, you call me? No matter what time it is -- maybe I can ask you questions over the phone. Here.” Jensen reached inside his jacket and pulled out his card. “This one has my mobile on it.”

“Okay.” Jared nodded, hesitating only a moment before reaching out for the card and curling his fingers over it. He maybe had a bit of a soft spot for the detective, since the personal information shared helped soften the image of him. “Thanks for hearing me out, Jensen -- Detective.”

“It’s probably okay for you to call me Jensen. I mean -- hell -- you know more about me now than pretty much everyone I know.” Nodding, Jensen pulled the door open and stepped out into the hall. “So, don’t forget to call me. I need to get on this as soon as I can.”

“I won’t. Forget to call you, I mean.” Jared smiled softly and trailed Jensen to the door. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“’Night, Jared.” Jensen stepped back from the door and watched as Jared closed it. Out of habit, he listened until he heard the lock click over and then headed back out to his car. For some crazy reason, he didn’t think he’d be sleeping any time soon.

“’Night,” Jared whispered, though Jensen had long since left. He let his forehead drop to the door, trying not to question why he felt so… out of control, of a sudden. “Chad?” Jared straightened up and turned, looking around the empty apartment. “Chad? Come on, I actually need you this time!”

There was no answer and Jared frowned at the sudden swell of loneliness. Crushing on cute detectives was clearly bad for him.


	2. Chapter 2

There was something about that freckled smile, and those sparkling eyes, or the way they darkened with the rise of a flush along the man’s cheeks. Jared’s lips parted in a gasp and Jensen was quick to move forward, his tongue sliding easily into Jared’s mouth and tasting every inch of him. Moaning, Jared arched into the firm muscles of the detective’s chest, shuddering at the press of hands on his back.

They tangled in the removal of clothing, laughing softly, sharing soft whispers that Jared couldn’t decipher but didn’t need to. Jensen’s skin was so smooth, so warm under his fingertips, he almost couldn’t stand it. Jared wanted to touch every inch of him, and he broke from the kiss after moments to trail his fingertips with his lips, sucking on the detective’s throat.

“Jared,” the older man breathed, nails scraping back through Jared’s hair.

Jared moaned in return, pushing forward, trying to get _closer_. Then something wet and cold splashed on his face and Jared jerked up out of the dream, sitting on his bed, mouth parted in a gasp.

“God, finally. I thought I’d have to listen to you moan _Jensen_ all night.”

Jared’s eyes wearily moved over to the ghost of his friend and he sighed, scrubbing a hand down his face. Then Chad’s words caught up with him and he fumbled to the side for his phone. “Chad, stay there! I have to call Je- Detective Ackles.”

“Jensen,” Chad repeated, smirk on his lips, hovering by Jared’s bedside. “Want me to float through your head again? That worked to calm you down last time. With the dream.”

“You walked through my head?” Jared’s brows rose as he stared at his friend, not sure why he was surprised. “Look, can you just stay there? Please? I have to call him. He said next time you appeared…”

“Alright, lover boy, don’t get your panties in a knot or whatever. I promise no more floating through anything.” Chad held his hands out then grinned once more. “He’s cute, though, right?”

“I’m not discussing this with you,” Jared grumbled and pulled up his contacts. He was _not_ going to tell Chad that the detective’s numbers were already in his phone. Judging from the snort that sounded when he hit _send_ , he didn’t have to.

“I hope he thinks you’re cute too. ‘Cause me? I’d murder -- pun intended -- anyone who called me at this time of night,” Chad commented casually, moving around the room as if he were once more bored.

Jared’s eyes snapped to the clock, his face paling when he realized it was after two in the morning. Yeah, he hoped Jensen liked him too. But that was maybe a little because of the hottest dream he’d ever had. And it really didn’t do well to consider that now, when any moment Jensen was going to answer and Jared was going to hear that rough, likely sleep-muffled voice. Jared was _fucked_.

Jensen rolled over as soon as he heard his phone ring and snatched it off the bedside table.

“Ackles,” he grunted.

There it was, that deep voice in Jared’s ear, and when he closed his eyes, he could feel smooth, firm skin. Most vivid dream of his life.

“Jensen? Sorry to call so late. Just… Chad’s here.” Jared probably didn’t feel as guilty as he should about waking the man, but who could blame him? It wasn’t like he had an excuse to call gorgeous guys very often.

Shaking his head, Jensen reached over and flicked the light on. “Okay…” He cleared his throat and squinted in the lamplight. “Sorry, just woke up. Is he there right now?”

“Yeah, he’s--” Jared glanced over, pursing his lips as he watched Chad stick his hand into the wall, pull back, and repeat the action. “He’s here. I’m really sorry to wake you. I could just ask some questions and you could call me in the morning or something?”

“S’okay,” Jensen muttered. “What does he remember from the night he was murdered?” Jensen nearly pulled a drawer out of his nightstand while trying to find a pen and paper.

“What?” Jared blinked then shook his head. “Oh right, Chad. Okay, let me ask. Chad? Chad, stop sticking your head through the wall. Come tell me about the night you were murdered.”

“Hey, talk with a little more grace, this is my death you’re discussing, you know.” Chad walked over to Jared’s bedside, purposefully walking through the edge of the bed and causing Jared to shiver. “It’s like I told you before. I was walking home from the store. I saw those two guys beating on some kid. They’d just dropped a couple bills and picked up a bag the guy was holding when they spotted me. I recognized them from one of Marcus’ parties.”

Jared relayed the information as close to word-for-word as he could, fumbling and correcting a couple of times when Chad spoke over him to clarify something. He shot the ghost a look before clearing his throat. “Did you get all that?”

Jensen jotted down what details he could and tapped the pen against his forehead. “Got it. How many of these ‘Friends’ were there? Can he give me descriptions of them? Tattoos? Anything like that?”

“What did they look like? Chad? The guys?” Jared swatted ineffectively at the ghost’s arm. “Dude, come on.”

“They were guys, Jared. Two of them, both around six foot. One had dark, buzzed hair and a square jaw. And the other had blonde hair, shorter than mine.” As Jared passed on the information, Chad jerked forward. “Oh yeah, and they were both in black, long sleeves, long pants. So besides saying they were both white, that’s all I know.”

“Chad says they’re both white and they were both all dressed in black so there wasn’t anything he could see. Like tattoos or anything. Sorry, not very helpful.” Jared frowned, wishing he could give Jensen more to go on.

Jensen sighed and carded his fingers through his hair. “God, I need something here. What about a vehicle? Was there a vehicle nearby?”

“Chad, what were they driving?” Jared shifted to cover the mouth of the phone, talking quietly. “Come on, man, you have to _think_. Jensen can’t just go talk to all of Marcus’ friends and arrest any blondes or shaved-headed guys.”

“I’m not an idiot, Jared.” Chad shot him a look then shook his head. “Black SUV. I don’t remember all the license but I’m pretty sure it started with V2F. That’s the most I’ve got. Except… I think one of them might be named Alex. I was introduced to him at a party but I’m not completely sure.”

Jared sighed and slid a hand back through his hair before telling Jensen, shifting on the bed. “I know that’s not much but the start of a license -- that’s something, right? Maybe there’s, like, surveillance or something around there?”

“We checked into it -- there was nothing clear but maybe I can put these numbers with what we saw on the video and see if I come up with anything. Does he… have anything else he wants to tell me?” Jensen wasn’t sure if Chad made frequent appearances or if this was something he might not get the chance to do again.

Jared thought for a moment about making something up just to keep Jensen on the line but that wasn’t fair to the man. So he looked at Chad with a frown. “Anything else?”

“I promise to think on it.” And with that, Chad was gone.

Pursing his lips in annoyance, Jared blew out a low breath and collapsed down on the bed. “He said he’d think on it. If he comes up with anything else, I promise to pass it along.”

“Okay. Is he…? Is he still there?” Jensen listened carefully, not that he could actually hear anything besides Jared’s voice and breathing.

“No, he’s gone off to… wherever it is ghosts go when no one can see them.” Jared laughed for a moment, trailing off when he realized that might only sound disturbing to Jensen. “Sorry again for waking you up.”

“You okay?” Jensen set his paper and pen down and groaned as he reached up to flick the light off. “Must be weird for you.”

“Weird? Oh, to see Chad? I’m a little adjusted to it now, I think. It was… hard, when he first appeared. Even though I’m used to seeing them.” Jared burrowed deeper under his blankets, curling on his side and pressing the phone hard to his ear. “I guess it’s never really easy.”

Jensen settled back down under his covers and tucked the phone between his shoulder and his ear. “How long have you… seen things like this? I mean -- if you don’t mind talking about it.”

Closing his eyes, Jared smiled for just a moment, though he was sure it was filled with nothing but sadness. “I was five when it first happened. Hasn’t ever really stopped. It took a few years to figure out what it meant, what they were. Then, Chad’s dad died, and I saw him at the funeral, you know, _not_ in the casket. When I realized it happened when Chad took my hand, I put the pieces together.”

“And Chad was okay with it? He believed you?” Jensen didn’t mean to sound surprised but he couldn’t imagine hearing that from a friend at such a young age.

“Yeah, he did. That’s just kind of the way he always was, though; at least when it came to me. Maybe because we’d known each other our whole lives. Or maybe because he knew I wasn’t an asshole who would tell him he saw his dead dad when he didn’t.” Jared laughed softly, fingers curling into the blanket. “He’s the only one who ever did, though. Believe me. I mean, I guess until you came along.”

Jensen laughed softly. “I have to admit, if you hadn’t told me something so… well, I mean no one knew. There’s no way you could have known about the pin unless you were pressed up against me or--” Jensen closed his eyes and shook his head. “Not that you’d do that, or I would-- I didn’t mean it the way it sounded.”

“It’s okay. I was trying to imagine earlier how it must have been, hearing me say all that stuff. I guess I’m lucky you didn’t drag me off to a psych ward.” Jared sighed, smiling at the way Jensen’s voice softened with his words. “I’m kind of used to being called crazy. My family all thinks it. And my coworkers, even if they don’t know why.”

“You seem like a smart guy, Jared. How come you didn’t go to some fancy school and become-- I dunno-- a brain surgeon or something?” Jensen was still thinking back to how simple and _old_ Jared’s apartment was. It wasn’t like his condo was Home  & Garden worthy but it was okay.

Jared snorted in disbelief, rolling under the blankets. He couldn’t really describe what it felt like to talk to a guy on the phone in bed --especially one that wasn’t Chad-- even if the man thought Jared was a bit crazy. “Oh yeah, then in the middle of removing some tumor or something I’d suddenly see the sixteen-year-old kid the patient killed in a car accident, all bloody and gory. That’d go over real well.”

“I guess,” Jensen said softly. “So, what _do_ you do at work? You never did tell me.”

“Mostly I go through donations, put things on the shelf. My boss is pretty understanding about my whole ‘people issues’.” Jared frowned for a moment then shook his head. “Well, no, that’s not really right. I don’t have problems with people. I think I’d like to have more friends, have a boyfriend, and have a first kiss. But… how could I possibly do that? You have no idea how it changes your opinion of a person when you see what dead follow them around.”

“Wait. What? You’ve never had a relationship?” Jensen’s eyes opened in the darkness of his bedroom. “Never? But you’re… how come?” Someone that looked like Jared, someone as soft-spoken, gentle-- it was hard to believe he’d never found someone to date.

Laughing softly, Jared rubbed at the heat of a blush on his cheeks. “I just told you how come. The last guy I liked --well, no, not the _last_ guy-- but, this guy, a couple of years ago, we hit it off in the grocery store of all places. And I thought, ‘okay, I’ll go for it, one date, I should just take a chance.’ Then he touched my arm before leaving and the--” Jared clenched his eyes shut, breathing through the spark of fear he felt just _thinking_ about that time. “Turns out he was in a house fire as a kid. He used to have a twin sister and she didn’t make it. Jensen, the ghost I see, they look _exactly_ like they did when they died. I’m sure you can put the pieces together.”

Jensen pulled in a breath of air. “Oh, that… that must be scary. So -- what about my dad? Will he come back if you touch me again?”

“No, I’m pretty sure your dad has gone off to a better place, however corny that sounds.” Jared smiled softly once more. “When Chad’s dad crossed over, he never came back, I never saw him when I touched Chad again. I mean, as far as I know, there’s only just one ghost. Do you have anyone else in your life that passed away that you were so close to?”

Sighing, Jensen shifted until he was comfortable. “No, no one close. I’ve been real lucky, I guess. Compared to some people.”

In his line of work, Jensen was used to seeing people suffering loss. It was usually the kind of loss that made people sink to their knees, the kind that brought a grief so heavy that there were really no words that would matter. He hated that.

“I don’t have anyone-- well, Chad. That’s… he’s the first person I’ve known who died. It sucks how horrible the world can be. Especially if you only ever see that side of things.” Jared could _never_ do Jensen’s job, with or without the touch thing. “Do you have a boyfriend?” Jared asked, mostly to distract Jensen from the sad topic, but also because he wanted to know.

“Me? Nah. Not exactly a prize. Shitty hours, brooding cop -- you know.” Jensen laughed softly but it wasn’t exactly a joke. His last boyfriend had pointed out the _brooding_ thing to him. Jensen had always figured being quiet just meant he was being thoughtful, working through things. “Lotta cops’ marriages end in divorce.”

“That’s a depressing fact,” Jared said softly, opening his eyes to stare up at the ceiling. “I think, maybe, you’re probably a prize. Maybe you just don’t know it. Or you just have to wait for the right person to realize it. Or something.” Jared laughed weakly, lips rolling together. “Why are you brooding?”

Chuckling quietly, Jensen tugged the blanket up over his shoulder.

“That was the thing. I didn’t think I _was_ brooding. I guess Riley thought so. That’s my ex. He said that I was too quiet, too wrapped up in myself. But people don’t see what I see at work every day. I guess… I’ve learned to just keep it to myself.” Jensen sighed and closed his eyes. There was something soothing about Jared’s voice. “Kinda of like you,” he added.

“Yeah. Sometimes you have to keep some things to yourself.” Jared kind of hated that part more than anything else when it came to the things he saw. “Well, you know, it’s probably, um, inappropriate or something but… you could tell me. If you ever needed to. About the things you saw, because I can tell you without a doubt that nothing could be worse than some of the things I’ve seen.” And Jared currently did have an opening for a friend, even if Jensen wasn’t looking to fill it.

Frowning, Jensen slid back behind that wall of professionalism he relied on. “It’s probably not a good idea, Jared. We’ve got the case.” Reluctantly, his lashes fluttered open and he looked at the clock. “Listen, it’s late. I’m guessing Chad’s not coming back. You wanna just call me the next time you hear from him?”

It was a little startling, the way Jared’s heart sank at the sudden tone to Jensen’s words, like Jared had pushed things much too far. Jared swallowed a sigh and nodded until he could get his voice to work. “Okay, I will. Sorry for keeping you up.”

“Okay. You be careful -- and if Chad shows up… Well, you know where I am. Thanks, Jared. Goodnight.” Jensen pressed his lips together tightly.

“Yeah, ‘night.” Jared pulled the phone back and thumbed it off quickly, tossing it onto the nightstand. It wasn’t like he didn’t _know_ Jensen was right. After all, the man was investigating his friend’s death, and that would be that. It still hurt, because Jared had never really liked having reality presented to him so clearly.

-=-=-=-

It was a few days before Jensen felt as though he’d made any progress at all. It took several free boxes of donuts and a lot of coffee runs to convince the guys in CSI division to play with the video recording from the alley on the night of Chad’s murder. It was sketchy, at best, and took them days to come up with the vaguest suggestion of letters from the latter half of the SUV’s license plate.

Armed with the letters Chad had given him and the grainy capture from the digital footage, Jensen began his search for a vehicle. It took over twenty-four hours for the search to run all the possible variations and when it finally came back -- Jensen had never felt so relieved. Back in the Academy, he’d never realized that so much of police work would be sitting behind a desk and waiting for things to happen.

But it was.

Armed --finally!-- with a potential vehicle, Jensen pulled records on the owner and was thrilled to see a record a mile long that included possession and trafficking.

Several fingerprints had been discovered at the crime scene on various objects and Jensen had submitted them all. He stopped in to CSI again on his way out to find that AFIS was still running the fingerprints. The tech behind the desk assured him that it could be hours before they actually got a hit. Still, it was forward movement, which was good.

It would be nice to tell someone. His partner, Kane, didn’t really care. He’d decided they’d dedicated enough of his valuable time to trying to solve some “random kid’s” murder and taken another case. After a rather heated exchanged, Jensen had told him to fuck off and gone back to working on Chad’s case.

It mattered to him.

And it mattered to him partly because of Jared. He could at least admit that much.

That could, after all, explain why Jensen ended up in front of Jared’s apartment door again when he’d absolutely intended to go straight home after work. It could also explain why he was knocking on the door after telling himself one hundred times how unprofessional it was to be involving Jared so closely in the case.

Jared was halfway through sucking a piece of pasta into his mouth when he opened the door, his eyes widening as he sucked the noodle into his mouth.

“Jensen, hey.” He hadn’t really expected to see the detective again; had figured the man would call if he needed anything, or one day he’d just learn that they’d arrested someone and that would be that. “You wanna come in?”

Jensen’s gaze moved from Jared’s eyes to his lips and back up again. “Sure,” he agreed as he stepped into the apartment. “Sorry, I should probably have called. Was just on my way home -- thought I’d stop by and tell you what was going on.”

“It’s okay. I didn’t have-- I’m not doing anything. Well, making dinner. You want some pasta?” Jared turned and headed down the hall, turning the burner off and taking a moment to smile softly at the fact that the man at least cared enough to keep him updated. As much as Jared didn’t expect to see Jensen, he was really glad he had come over.

Jensen was about to decline when his stomach growled rather loudly. Laughing softly, he nodded. “Sure, if you have some extra. Forget to eat at work sometimes.”

“I always make extra pasta; you never know when you’re gonna have a craving for it.” Jared dumped the pasta into the strainer then snagged two bowls, quickly heaping them both with the steaming noodles and ladling sauce on top. When he turned to Jensen once more, he smiled softly then forced his eyes away. “You want a beer? Or would that be a bad drink of choice?”

“Beer’s okay. Off-duty.” Jensen shrugged and smiled as he flipped back his jacket. Gesturing at his gun, he raised his eyebrows. “Can I leave this over here?”

“Uh, sure.” Jared eyed the gun for a moment then laughed quietly. “Never really seen a gun before. Not sure why it’s weird.” Jared set the bowls on the counter in front of Jensen then turned to the fridge to grab a couple beers. “Couch?”

“Sure.” Jensen unhooked his holster, pulled the pistol out and popped the clip. Tucking the clip in his pocket he set the gun on the counter before picking up his bowl and following Jared to the couch. “How tall are you?”

“About six-foot-five.” Jared eyed Jensen for a minute, the smile still softly playing on his lips because he couldn’t help it. He turned his gaze away to his food, working his fork through his noodles. “You’ve got to be at least six feet, yeah?”

“Come on -- I’m at least six-one. Give me credit for that extra inch.” Jensen shoved some noodles in his mouth and ducked his head when they kind of hung there for a few moments. Biting through them, he let the ends fall back in the bowl and smiled weakly at Jared. “Don’t get out much,” he muttered.

Jared couldn’t help laughing at that, shaking his head as he pushed to his feet and headed into the kitchen. He returned a few moments later with two paper towels, offering one to Jensen. “It’s probably somewhat of a compliment; I’ll take it as such.”

“Thanks.” Jensen put the fork back in the mound of noodles and smiled. “So -- we’re making progress. The letters on the plate that Chad gave me… well, long story -- but we managed to get a full plate match eventually. Guy has a long record. I’m waiting on fingerprints now. Could be a long time, though. He been back?”

“Yeah, a few times. But he hasn’t had anything new to share. We went over details again last night; he’s trying.” Jared sighed then took another bite. He would have liked to pretend for a little while longer that Jensen was there for a different reason. “So, you think maybe you’ll find some of the guy’s prints at the crime scene?”

“Well, if I get a match -- and it links up with the registered owner of the SUV -- _who_ , I might add, is a known associate of Mr. Roberts -- then… I’ve got a valid reason to pick him up. He might crack. Sometimes, I get lucky.” Jensen’s eyes were on Jared’s lips again as he sucked in another noodle. It shouldn’t be _nearly_ as appealing to watch as it was -- but then, it was _Jared_.

Jensen had given up trying to convince himself that the guy wasn’t good looking because… well, he was. It was an exotic kind of good-looking, different; his eyes a little slanted, a full mouth, strong jaw and then that damn hair that was kind of everywhere.

Realizing he was staring, Jensen leaned over and picked up his beer. “So -- you doing okay then?”

“Well, I guess I’m hanging in.” Jared reached out for his beer, taking a long swig before looking over at the detective. “It’s weird. I feel like… I wish I could do something more. I hate feeling helpless.” Frowning down at his pasta, Jared set the bowl on the coffee table and curled his fingers around the beer bottle instead.

“You’ve done more than most people could. I’m sure Chad’s told you that, right?” Jensen couldn’t help looking around as though saying the man’s name would bring him back into existence. Lowering his voice, he leaned a little closer. “You’d tell me if someone was here, right?”

Once more, Jared couldn’t help laughing softly at the man. He liked that Jensen could do that, make him laugh about things that normally he wouldn’t find all that funny. “Yeah, I’d let you know. Not sure where Chad is now, haven’t seen him around today. He doesn’t really grasp time or anything.”

“I guess he wouldn’t,” Jensen murmured. He set his bowl on noodles on the table next to Jared’s and swirled some beer around in his mouth for a few seconds. “So, wanna try touching me?” When Jared’s gaze whipped over to him, eyes wide and questioning, Jensen laughed. “I mean, test the ghost thing. You know… you touch my arm again and see -- what happens?”

It wasn’t as if the idea of touching Jensen was unappealing --because Jared certainly wasn’t blind and he honestly liked the guy-- but taking the risk seemed impossible. After all, Jensen was a _cop_ , he had to have been around dozens of dead people; maybe he even saw someone get killed. And for all Jared knew, the other people haunting Jensen might hold some type of resentment toward him, just because of what he was.

“Um, I don’t… I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” Jared said quietly, sliding his arms over his chest as if he could sink back into the couch and take up less space.

Jensen put his beer down and shifted a little closer. He could see the tension growing in Jared’s body -- just like that. It must be terrifying to live with theses spirits around him. But more than that, Jensen couldn’t imagine someone like Jared living without touch. “Don’t you miss it? Touching?”

A humorless laugh fell from Jared’s lips and he rubbed across his eyes, head shaking slightly. “Can’t really miss something you’ve never had, Jensen. I don’t-- What if you have more? The things you’ve seen with your job, I… What if there are more?”

Jensen had such soft features sometimes, and when he was like this, it was almost kind of sweet; Jared didn’t want to ruin that image of the man.

Jensen sighed and sat back slightly then picked up his beer. “Let’s think about this rationally for a few minutes. You said my dad… went somewhere, right? Like, you thought possibly he needed to tell me what he did and then he went -- wherever we go…” He glanced over at Jared, gesturing with his beer at the taller man. “You don’t know that there _is_ anyone else, right? Until you touch me.”

Pursing his lips, Jared let his hand drop so he could pick at the couch, considering Jensen’s words. He wanted to ask why it mattered to him, but he wasn’t really sure he wanted the answer.

“And what if there is someone else?” Jared asked quietly, eyes sliding over to Jensen and away.

“We could figure it out. I mean, you must have to touch people. Doesn’t it happen randomly? Can’t you just talk to people about what you see?” Jensen was getting frustrated. The longer they spoke, the more he could see that Jared’s walls were up from years of trying to protect himself. It wasn’t going to be easy, if even possible to get through to him.

Laughing again, this time in disbelief, Jared looked wide-eyed over at his guest. “It’s never that easy. I avoid it --touching-- as much as possible. I don’t want to see the things that I see.” Jared knew there was no good way to explain what it was like to see the things he did, and as much as he wanted it to be as easy as Jensen made it sound, that wasn’t going to happen.

“Is it me? I mean… if you could touch anyone, who would it be?” Jensen felt a little like a high school kid being rejected by a crush. The stupid thing was that he hadn’t even really admitted to himself yet that he _had_ a thing for Jared. Yeah, ‘cause he visited all potential witnesses at home and had beer with them.

“No, it’s not you. I- I like--” Jared bit his lip and rubbed along his neck, eyes shifting from Jensen and back down to the coffee table. “Jensen, it changes the way you see someone when you see the dead that follow them. I don’t want that to happen, even if I do want…”

“So, what? You see me differently now because I didn’t get along with my dad?” Jensen kind of snapped, he didn’t mean to, but he was starting to feel a bit defeated. “He went away,” he added weakly.

“God, no; of course not. Well, I do but not… not in a bad way. But I don’t know that your dad was the only one. And it’s not like…” Jared lifted his hand and dropped it, not sure how to continue. “This isn’t the way I want things to be, but it doesn’t matter. You don’t know the truth.”

“What is the truth?” Jensen set his beer down on the table a little too hard and it slopped noisily in the can. “Tell me.”

Looking back up, Jared met Jensen’s gaze and held it. “There’s no fixing me, Jensen, or my situation. I… Trust me; more than anything, I wish I could just… help these people’s ghosts, help them cross over, let people in close. But it doesn’t always work that way. Sometimes, _god_ , sometimes they’re so angry. Sometimes I think they’d hurt me, if they could.”

Jared looked away, digging his hands into his hair.

“You have no idea what it’s like to be thirteen years old, to hug your mom because she’s upset that her father passed away, and then to _see_ him. To _hear_ him say the most horrible things about your entire family. That’s not something I can fix, and because of it, I can’t touch my mom.” Jared let out a shaky, tear-laced laugh, wiping at his eyes with the heels of his palm as he kept his gaze away from Jensen. “I’m sorry. This isn’t your shit to deal with. It’s just… not so easy.”

It felt like there was a tight band around Jensen’s chest and he leaned forward.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I couldn’t have-- how could I even know how it would have been for you? Come on, give me a little credit. I didn’t mean that you could just change everything about you. I just meant-- like the case… this is a start, right?” Blowing out a breath, Jensen smiled slightly. “But telling me… That’s a start, right? That’s what it is, don’t you think?”

As much as Jared wanted to believe Jensen, the man’s words from the other night were just there, echoing through his mind. This was just a case, and maybe Jensen felt sorry for him; Jared didn’t blame him. He smiled briefly at him and nodded.

“Yeah, maybe.” Of course Jared knew he wasn’t likely to go out and make friends any time soon, so whatever sort of start it might be, it was going to be the middle and end as well.

“So. Maybe, it’s just-- you know-- you need to go out there and find someone better to talk to than some cop you think is carrying around a lot of dead people with him.” Jensen shrugged.

“I think you’re wrong.” Jared’s smile lingered this time and he tried to hold Jensen’s gaze, to show him how serious he was. This was not the conversation he thought he’d be having this evening. “I want more. But I think… I-- I kind of like you staying in the picture.”

“Staying in? Me?” Jensen pulled back slightly even though Jared’s words had sent shivers rippling down his body. “No, Jared, not me. I mean-- the things you said…”

Sitting back, Jensen rubbed his hands together. He was a little stung by Jared not wanting to touch him. “It’s-- it’s not-- I mean, working on the case. You and I, we can’t…”

“Yeah, I know. I remember.” Jared nodded and turned his eyes down, folding his hands together in his lap. It wasn’t an easy thing to swallow, feeling rejected when he wasn’t used to putting himself out there in the first place. “Well, maybe we could stay friends. I could be the person you call up when you want to talk to someone who’s not at all connected to your work. Once the case is done.”

Jared reached out for his beer, draining the rest in several long swallows. He kind of wished Chad would show up, if just so he didn’t have to hear Jensen tell him why they couldn’t be friends either. Jared didn’t blame him; he wouldn’t want to be friends with someone who saw dead people either.

Disappointment ran cold through Jensen and he dragged a hand down his face, holding it over his mouth for a few moments before dropping it to his lap. “I should be going, in case the station tries to reach me.” He stood quickly, picking up his bowl and half-finished beer and took them over to the counter. “Thanks for dinner, and the beer.”

Lingering there for a moment, watching the curve of Jared’s shoulders as they sagged almost imperceptibly, Jensen sighed.

Picking up his holster, he fitted it back on his belt and slipped his jacket back on. “You’ll call… if Chad…”

“Do you not do friendships either?” Jared asked quietly, not quite sure he could even move from the couch. He picked at his nails and inhaled slowly, surprised by how upsetting it was to keep getting shut out of Jensen’s world. “I thought… I mean, it kind of seemed like you liked me, even just a little.”

“Yeah, ‘course. When this is all done -- we’ll get coffee or something.” Jensen headed over to the door, checking his pockets for his keys. The _last_ thing he wanted to be was Jared’s friend when it would pretty much _forever_ be on his mind that he had wanted more.

“I kind of don’t believe you.” Jared laughed humorlessly and finally stood, grabbing his bowl and beer and carrying both quickly to the kitchen. “See you around,” he said quietly as he passed, not really wanting to see the man leave.

About a thousand excuses died somewhere in Jensen’s throat before making it anywhere near his lips. He watched Jared move toward the kitchen, thought about staying, thought about all kinds of things. Then he pulled the door open slowly.

“Thanks, again,” he murmured before stepping out into the hall and closing the door behind him.

“Fuck,” Jared swore softly and dumped his bowl in the sink, fingers curving over the edge of the counter and holding tight. He didn’t get this whole thing. Maybe he felt too much, because he’d never had it before and he wanted it so badly. He wanted _Jensen_. And maybe he just didn’t get some of the signs Jensen was giving off.

“Chad?” Jared looked around the kitchen, turning slowly and hoping the ghost would appear at his call. “Come on, I’m doing all I can for you, could you please just… try and help me out here?”

When Chad didn’t magically appear, Jared scowled and yanked the fridge open, tugging out another beer. Screw it. He was going to get really drunk. Sometime --maybe soon-- they’d figure out who killed Chad and Jensen would vanish from his life. Then Jared would go back to the life he knew before, just a little quieter. Jared could _totally_ get used to that.

He was halfway to the couch when there was another knock at the door. Jared’s frown deepened and he looked around, trying to determine if Jensen had maybe left something behind. Setting the beer on the counter as he passed, Jared waited just a beat before he pulled the door open.

Jensen shoved the door aside and reached back to slam it shut before his hands were gripping Jared’s shirt. Spinning the taller man, he threw him back against the door and when Jared’s lips parted to let out a surprised gasp, Jensen’s mouth was there.

Pressing in _hard_ against Jared, Jensen crushed their lips together, his tongue forcing its way into the heat of the other man’s mouth. It was hot, and slick, and _god_ , Jensen could feel the heat of the kiss all the way down his body.

For nearly a minute, Jared simply let Jensen kiss him because _fuck_ , he had never felt something so burning and intense. Then the sound of Jensen’s moan echoed in the entryway and Jared couldn’t help moaning in response, eyes clenching closed as his arms wrapped around the shorter man, fingers tightening into fists in his coat.

 _JesusChrist_ the way Jensen kissed him, held him pinned to the wall, made Jared feel like the world had been knocked off its axis. He had never experienced something so hot, something that made his pulse race in his ears and his heart skip a beat. Jared sucked hard on Jensen’s tongue, his legs spreading so he could draw Jensen in closer, hold him flush to his body.

Jensen’s hand slid up to curl around Jared’s neck, then up into his hair as their mouths moved together almost desperately. It was _so_ worth breaking every rule he could think of about detective work -- and then even more worth it when he felt Jared’s fingers tugging on his jacket. The shiver that ran down Jensen’s body made him pull back slightly; for a few moments, they shared breath, panting softly, lips almost touching.

“So… guess that experiment is done,” Jensen said softly.

Jared couldn’t get any words to form on his lips, just like he couldn’t get his eyes to open. His lips were still tingling and the next few breaths felt almost painful. Jensen was a solid, pressing weight against him and Jared wasn’t sure he could wrap his mind around _this_.

“Jensen,” he whispered, fingers slowly unclenching from the man’s coat. _God_ , he never would have pictured his first kiss like this.

“Uh-huh.” Jensen didn’t move; he was terrified that if he let Jared go, they’d be back at square one again. Leaning forward slightly, he ran his lips along Jared’s jaw, breathing shakily. “What?”

“You’re…” Jared sucked in a shaky breath, head tilting back so Jensen’s lips could move more over his skin. “God,” he moaned and his eyes fluttered open as if he couldn’t help it. Instantly, his eyes shot around the hall, breath hitching in fear for a moment. But no matter how much he looked, the hallway stayed empty and his hand slid along Jensen’s back. “No one,” he whispered.

“Hey…” Jensen tilted his head. “Stay here, with me.” His hand slid down to Jared’s cheek. “I mean, if this is okay.” He felt a little unsure all of a sudden.

Gaze dropping, Jared stared into Jensen’s darkening green eyes and his breath hitched. There was something in the man’s eyes that Jared had never seen before and he swallowed thickly, chasing the taste of the detective with the slow slide of his tongue over his lips. “What do you want?”

Jensen’s brow furrowed then he laughed softly, lowering his hands. “Would have thought that was obvious. Am I gettin’ this all wrong, Jared?”

Something tight clenched in Jared’s chest and his hand pressed harder to the older man’s back, just in case he had any idea of stepping away. “No, just… I… never done this. So, you know…” He smiled nervously at the other man then dipped just slightly forward, brushing his lips tentatively over Jensen’s.

“Mmm, okay,” Jensen murmured against Jared’s lips. “Forgot,” he said softly. How did you get to look like Jared, _feel_ like Jared, and never have kissed someone? “Not even one kiss?” Jensen’s fingers slid to Jared’s shoulder the continued down his chest to settle on his hip. “That’s just wrong.”

“You’re telling me,” Jared whispered, though, really, if he’d waited all this time and Jensen was his reward? He could be okay with that. “S-so you… you want… you want me?” Jared almost didn’t believe the words. Why someone like Jensen would want him, he had no idea.

Feeling a blush starting to creep onto his cheeks, Jensen smiled nervously. “Yeah. I mean, I-- when I saw you... Yeah, but I don’t assume that…” Blowing out a quick breath, he shook his head. “Can we sit? Talk?”

“That doesn’t always work so well for us,” Jared said quietly and laughed, curling his fingers slowly around Jensen’s wrist. “You know I… I like you too, right? I mean, I’m not very good with these kinds of things, no experience and all, but… I do like kissing.”

Jensen smiled a little crookedly and walked backwards a little toward the couch. “Me too. And there’s no rush; I mean, really. I shouldn’t-- you know-- pursue you until the case is finished.” He liked the way that Jared’s fingers felt on his wrist: warm, tight, like he didn’t want Jensen to leave.

“I really wish you’d stop saying that,” Jared muttered, shaking his head even as he allowed Jensen to lead him through the apartment to the couch. It was becoming challenging to think about things like _not rushing_ when Jared finally saw some glimmer of hope for the end of his twenty-three year virgin status.

“Well, I _could_ be reprimanded,” Jensen said lightly. He tugged Jared around the coffee table and sat back down on the couch. “Still no one here but us?”

Jared hadn’t really been looking but he did now, his eyes scanning around the apartment then settling on Jensen. “Still no one. Reprimanded? Like, you could get in a lot of trouble for being with me?”

“Inappropriate conduct; conduct unbecoming? You know. But the way I see it -- you can’t be a witness, right? This isn’t coming from you. As far as the powers-that-be know, I got this information from a guy I met on the street who took off.” Jensen grinned. “I may be getting a little flack over an imaginary guy outrunning me, but I’m okay with that. I was trying-- well, I didn’t want you to have to be involved.”

“Yeah?” Jared’s lips twitched in a smile and he looked down, watching his fingers sliding over Jensen’s smooth skin. “Thanks. You… I know it had to be risky, lying like that. I appreciate it, though. The last thing I need is the whole police department to think I’m a crazy psychopath or something.”

“That and I didn’t want this linked back to you if I couldn’t… well, if none of these leads pan out.” Jensen loosened his tie a little and sat back then froze. “Is it okay if I stay for a little while?”

“Yeah,” Jared nodded, his gaze drifting down to watch Jensen’s fingers move on his tie. “What happens? If none of the leads pan out.” Jared hadn’t really considered that as an option but he supposed it could easily happen. Jared kind of _hated_ that idea.

“I… keep working the case, I guess. It’s a bit complicated. These things are never simple; I’m sure you know that.” Jensen pulled the knot in his tie apart and let it hang down. “It won’t affect us, if that’s what you’re asking. I mean… if there’s an _us_.”

“An us?” Jared whispered, a slow smile curving up his lips as he stared at Jensen. “Wow. I’ve, um, never really been an _us_.” He laughed softly and shifted a little closer to the older man, turning until their knees touched. “You sure you want that with me? I’m pretty weird.”

“You sure you want that with me?” Jensen smiled and reached out to slide his fingers over Jared’s knee. “I mean… you hardly know me. I’ve got shitty hours. I’m obsessive about work. Apparently, I break rules,” he added with a small laugh.

Jared gently laid his hand over Jensen’s, wetting his lips. “I don’t like to go out, hardly at all. I barely make enough to get by here, and… I have nightmares. Really bad ones. I’ll probably be too clingy.” Jared shifted a little closer once more, half shrugging his shoulder almost dismissively. “That and I don’t have any experience or anything, so I’ll probably suck at that part.”

“Nightmares?” Jensen didn’t like the sound of that, nor the way it made Jared’s lips tighten. Everything else on Jared’s list he could work with.

Turning his gaze away, Jared nodded. He’d never really told anyone this, not even Chad, and he’d long since given up on the idea that he would. “When you’re little, I think you need touch; I think it can seriously damage who you are if you don’t have it. So, it took me years to finally learn my lesson and stop reaching out for others.” Jared smiled sadly at Jensen. “What I saw… it stayed with me. You don’t even realize how many people you touch in a day until each one leaves you terrified.”

The lump in Jensen’s throat grew a little bigger and he looked down. Jared was right; he couldn’t realize what it must have been like for him growing up. “You touched me,” he said softly. “Just now, you just slid your hand over mine like you did it all the time.”

“Something about you,” Jared murmured and let his eyes slide along Jensen’s smooth features, his heart racing as if Jensen were kissing him once more. “I might also be a little touch deprived. I didn’t think… I’d just kind of accepted the idea that I didn’t get to have someone to touch.”

“Ever? _God_ , Jared. That’s so… not okay. You know that, right? Everyone… you…” Jensen gave up and slid closer so he could slip his arm over Jared’s shoulders. “Been a while since you had a hug and I slam you up against a door.” His smile was tilted a little as he wrinkled his nose.

“I’m not complaining about being slammed up against a door.” Jared grinned over at the other man, hesitating for just a moment before leaning against him. He liked the solid, comforting warmth of the older man, something he’d never thought he’d feel. “Hugging is… god, I can’t even remember the last hug I had.”

Jensen’s smile broadened and he turned to kiss Jared’s cheek. “Okay, so scratch this one off the list of things to do: One pleasant hug.” He laughed, maybe a little nervous; after all, the men he’d been with in the past usually had a lot more experience than he did. “You know, I’m kind of like you in a way.”

“Yeah?” Jared’s smile softened at the edges and he turned toward Jensen, his nose brushing along the other man’s cheek. “And how’s that?”

“I stopped dating a few years back, when work got kind of serious. I can’t actually remember the last time someone touched me ‘cause they wanted to.” Jensen could feel Jared’s breath on his cheek and the spread of goose bumps it caused. “Maybe hugged my mama last, when I was home at Christmas.”

“Because you don’t think you’re worth it?” Jared asked quietly, taking a slow breath before he turned in and brushed his lips across the slight stubble rough on Jensen’s jaw. “Because… your work? And the hours?”

Jensen nodded, almost afraid to breathe and break the spell.

“Yeah. Some people say when you’re a cop that you’re married to your job,” he said softly. As slowly as he could, he slid his fingers to the back of Jared’s neck and over the bare skin there.

“But you want it, right?” Jared wasn’t even sure if Jensen could hear him; it felt like the words were caught in his throat and his heart was racing in his ears. He was _so_ not used to feeling this way. “You… you would try? For the right person?”

Nodding again, Jensen turned to Jared slightly until their lips brushed together. “For the right person, sure. Someone who could maybe forgive me for long hours and… that stuff. Someone…” Jensen let out a small puff of air and massaged the back of Jared’s neck gently.

“I could…” Jared’s eyes fell closed as the words faded off the tip of his tongue. Saying something like ‘ _I could be that someone_ ’ felt a little too much like he was putting himself out there. “I think I really like you,” Jared whispered, trying not to shiver when his lips moved against Jensen’s.

Jensen’s lips curved into a smile and he pressed a kiss to the corner of Jared’s mouth.

“I think I really like you too.” It was crazy to even be there with Jared, let alone having feelings for the guy after a matter of days, but it all felt a little out of Jensen’s control. “I could take my jacket off, my gun, stay a while,” he murmured before placing another kiss on Jared’s full bottom lip.

“Please,” Jared breathed, not really wanting to even entertain the idea of Jensen leaving. It felt like each move he made was sluggish, painfully slow, but he forced himself forward. His hand slid beneath Jensen’s jacket, fingertips just barely moving over the older man’s warm shirt. “I would like that.”

Shrugging out of the jacket, Jensen let it fall to the couch behind him. Jared’s touch was tentative, shy, and it was making every part of Jensen feel equal amounts of protective and turned on. The combination was blowing his mind a little.

Staring into Jared’s eyes, he smiled again. “Wanna learn how to unhook my holster?”

Without waiting for an answer, he curled his hand over Jared’s and pulled it down to the top buckle just over the butt of his handgun. Guiding Jared, he popped the button open then slid the gun free to set it on the table.

“Now, you just push the shoulder straps off.”

Jared flushed, as if taking Jensen’s holster off was basically undressing the man. It kind of felt like it was. His fingers slid slowly up the length of Jensen’s arm, pushing the strap off his shoulder and guiding it down until Jensen’s arm pulled free. His fingers moved across Jensen’s chest to his other shoulder, guiding the strap down until he could move the entire holster to the table. “Okay?”

Jensen nodded again and smiled softly. “I like you touching me, even if I have to make up reasons for it to happen,” he teased. “For the record? You can touch me however you like; I’m a little… scared to touch you. Don’t wanna scare you off.”

“You won’t,” Jared murmured, laughing softly at the thought. He supposed he probably did give off a slightly skittish attitude. “At least, I’m pretty sure you won’t.” Jared’s hand hovered on Jensen’s chest, uncertain, until he finally let it drop down onto the older man’s thigh.

“You have really gorgeous eyes. They’re different, exotic.” Jensen leaned back against the couch and stretched his arm out, motioning for Jared to lean back. “Almost like cat’s eyes,” he murmured.

“Cat’s eyes?” Jared grinned over at Jensen, shifting flush against the shorter man’s side. “Jensen?”

“Uh-huh?” Jensen let his arm fall down over Jared’s shoulders again and kicked his feet up onto the table. It was entirely too natural to just turn into Jared’s hair and breathe in the warm scent of the taller man.

Jared’s breath hitched and he tilted toward Jensen, their noses brushing. “Can… will you… kiss me again?” Just asking made Jared’s heart skip a beat and he swallowed thickly.

Jensen’s heart did the weirdest little skipping flutter and he nodded. It was another gentle movement and his lips were pressing softly against Jared’s, parted slightly so he could trail the tip of his tongue along Jared’s bottom lip.

A soft moan fell from Jared before he could stop it, his eyes sliding closed as he shifted into the warmth of Jensen and lifted his hand, fingers sliding along the back of the smaller man’s head. His entire body felt overheated, his lips already tingling as they parted further against the other man’s. He’d spent years imagining what it would be like to kiss someone but he’d never pictured this just right, the race of his heart, the strong surge of desire, and Jensen’s lips plump and soft and pressing just a little firmer.

Jared’s body was quivering and Jensen pulled him closer as he deepened the kiss. The soft sounds Jared made were speeding Jensen’s heart, flushing heat through his body. When Jared didn’t pull away -- _hell_ , leaned in-- Jensen teased his tongue forward into the heat of Jared’s mouth.

This kiss was softer than the first, Jensen’s actions so much softer, and Jared’s stomach flipped with butterflies. He felt like his heart was just going to beat out of his chest, then Jensen moaned and Jared pressed forward, gaining confidence as his tongue moved against the older man’s. His free hand moved between them, ghosting just barely over Jensen’s chest.

“God, Jared,” Jensen whispered against his mouth. “Touch me.” It felt a little like Jared was just _barely_ there, so hesitant, and Jensen’s heart felt like it would pound right out of his chest. He covered Jared’s hand with his own and pressed it against his chest more firmly.

“Jesus,” Jared whispered, shuddering with the wave of pleasure that flared through him at Jensen’s words. “Jensen,” he breathed and pressed back into the kiss, nails slowly moving along Jensen’s scalp as his hand on the other man’s chest slowly moved down to grip over heated abs.

Jensen kept his fingers over Jared’s hand, urging it lower until he could lift the hem of his shirt slightly. The moment Jared’s fingers touched his skin, Jensen sucked in a breath and laughed softly, before capturing Jared’s bottom lip between both of his.

 _God_ , the way Jensen was making him feel, it was almost too much. Jensen’s skin was burning under his fingertips, and Jared moaned into the older man’s kiss, pressing harder forward because he wanted to know what else he could feel. He wanted Jensen to make him feel all those things he’d only ever dreamed about.

“Want.” He gasped the word, hand pressing flush over Jensen’s abs.

“What, Jay?” Jensen shifted closer, nearly shaking with the effort of holding back. He wanted his hands all over Jared, wanted to hear more of those moans, and _God_ he wanted to feel Jared’s skin. “What… tell me, anything.”

“Want more,” Jared whispered, thumb sliding along a strong curve of muscle. “Want… want you to touch me. Please.” Jared pushed forward to capture Jensen’s lips in a kiss once more, confident now that Jensen wasn’t going to be pushing him away.

Letting out a long moan, Jensen rolled his forehead against Jared’s. Everything was building inside him, the _need_ , the _want_ … it had been _too_ long for him as well. Grabbing Jared’s shoulders, Jensen twisted quickly and pulled Jared to straddle his lap.

His hands slid down to Jared’s thighs, pulling him closer. Groaning at the pleasure that ripped through his body, Jensen slid his hands up to Jared’s sides, fingers slipping under the hem of his t-shirt. He was like _fire_.

“Shit,” Jensen whispered.

“Oh god,” Jared gasped, his body instinctively moving forward against Jensen, into the heat of the other man. He had absolutely _no_ idea that it could feel like this, like everything in him was about to explode. Jensen’s fingers moving over his skin made his muscles flutter pleasantly and he moaned when their lips met again.

“Ooh, live action porn? Go, my man!” Chad’s voice was a very unwelcome addition to Jared’s thoughts and Jared groaned softly as he pulled from the kiss. “Wait, I know… _hey_! That guy is supposed to be finding my killer. What gives, Jared? He can’t find shit if your tongue is down his throat.”

“Chad,” Jared groaned again and flopped off Jensen’s lap, shooting a glare at the ghost. “Do you _mind_? Jensen is still working your case but he’s just… not. Right now.”

“Wait, what?” Jensen’s hands were still reaching out for Jared as his eyes moved in the same direction as Jared’s. “Chad?” He slid to the other end of the couch and tugged his shirt down quickly. “I can’t see anything,” he whispered.

“I know,” Jared said quietly, more than a little annoyed that Chad had interrupted them.

“Did he just say he couldn’t--?” Chad stared wide-eyed at Jensen then jerked back, hand flailing in the direction of the detective. “He can’t _see_ me, really? This surprises him? And _this_ is the big-shot detective who’s supposed to solve my murder?”

“Chad, shut up and _Go. Away._ ” Jared scowled at Chad, shooting his gaze purposefully to Jensen and back to the ghost. “I’m kind of busy.”

“And this can’t wait until, let’s say, _after_ I’ve gone to the better beyond? You’ve been a virgin this long; I’m sure you can wait a few more days.”

“God. _Fuck_. Go away, Chad. Please.” Jared was pretty sure any minute Jensen was going to realize watching a guy basically talk to himself was _way_ too much.

Jensen’s eyes widened and he stood, then sat back down again. “Does he remember something? Is that why he’s back?”

“I was bored,” Chad shrugged and crossed to Jensen, bending down and poking a finger through the man’s nose. “Shouldn’t he be working?”

“It’s almost nine at night, Chad; believe it or not, but there is only so much he can do in one day.” Jared would have swatted Chad away if it did any good, or if it would make him look less crazy. “He’s apparently bored,” Jared said to Jensen, a frown tugging at his lip. “He’ll be gone any minute, I swear.”

Jensen shivered and shifted back slightly, looking around. “Is he…?”

“He’s being annoying,” Jared said flatly then stood, walking purposefully _through_ Chad until the ghost vanished. He turned back to Jensen and smiled softly. “He’s gone; do you want--” Jared cut off sharply when Jensen’s coat began to ring, Jared’s eyes snapping to it.

Fumbling through his jacket pockets, Jensen winced up at Jared. “I’ll just--” He tapped the phone screen and lifted it to his ear. “Ackles.”

Even while he was listening to the tech from the station talking about fingerprint matches, his mind was still whirling with thoughts. Chad had been _there_ in the room and Jensen hadn’t seen a damn thing. That was what Jared lived with -- it was no wonder he was so afraid to get connected with people.

“I’ll be there in ten. Yup.” Tapping the screen on his phone again, Jensen looked up. “They’ve got a match on the fingerprints. I gotta--” He shrugged and frowned slightly. When Jared said nothing, Jensen picked up his gun and slipped back into the holster. “Can I phone you?”

“Oh, um, sure,” Jared nodded, stepping back out of instinct. “I-- this is about Chad’s case? Maybe a lead?” Jared tried to tell himself that it was a good thing, if Jensen was leaving to help Chad. Even if helping Chad meant Jensen no longer had a firm reason to come see him. Jared couldn’t help wondering how long it would take the man to realize Jared was far too crazy for a normal guy.

“It’s a… a case thing.” Jensen moved around the table and pulled his jacket on. “Chad’s case. I gotta… god. I don’t--” Frowning, he shook his head. It was about the shittiest timing in the world but there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.

“Hey, it’s okay. A case thing, that’s important.” Jared smiled at him, shrugging. It would be pretty crappy if the first time one of Jensen’s work issues came up, Jared threw a fit about it. “Good luck. I hope it’s something really big and helpful.”

“Yeah. Me too.” Jensen stepped a little closer. “Fuck… Jared.” He grabbed a handful of Jared’s hair and tugged him in to crush his lips against Jared’s. The heat of it was the same but it felt so _important_ \-- he _needed_ Jared to know that he wasn’t leaving because of him.

Instantly, Jared was stepping into him, only slightly surprised how easy it was to fall into the kiss. His lips parted against Jensen’s and his arm slid around the shorter man’s waist, drawing him in and holding him close. He didn’t want Jensen to go, but he knew it was important, and he’d just have to tell himself Jensen would come back.

“I’m coming back,” Jensen murmured when he finally pulled back to breathe. “Okay? Say it.”

“You’re coming back,” Jared whispered, hand sliding along the other man’s back as he drew away. “Call me.”

Lips twitching into a slight smile, Jensen stepped back. “I’ll call you.”

He pulled the door open then turned back quickly to press his lips to Jared’s once again.

“Okay,” he replied softly.

Running a hand through his hair, Jensen flashed a smile at Jared and left, closing the door behind him.

Jared stepped forward as the door closed and leaned against it, slowly turning the lock into place. His entire body was humming and he thought he’d give anything to have Jensen back in his arms, because now that he knew what it felt like to _feel_? He couldn’t get enough.

“Dude! You fuckin’ walked through me! Do you know how rud-- Hey, where’d pretty boy go?”

Groaning, Jared let his skull thump against the door then turned and shook his head. “I’m going to jack off, so unless you turned gay in the afterlife and want to watch? Get lost.”

Jared should have used that technique before; Chad was gone before he’d reached the bedroom.


	3. Chapter 3

Jared checked his phone no short of ten times over the first two hours he was awake the morning after his… _thing_ with Jensen. He finally had to tell himself --when countless checks proved everything to be in working order-- that Jensen likely had a late night with work and probably wouldn’t be up for a while. And even then, he wouldn’t want to call until he’d had some coffee at least. Jared had to gain some patience.

He was on his third cup of coffee --in the middle of a glare battle with his phone-- when Chad reappeared.

“Fuck, Jared! I just remembered something!”

Jared startled on the couch, coffee splashing over the sides of the mug and burning his fingers. He hissed and quickly set the mug down, rubbing his hands on his jeans. “What the hell, Chad? Can’t you say ‘good morning’?”

“Not when I’ve just remembered something super important,” Chad scoffed, shaking his head and continuing before Jared could say more. “I have a tape. It was at Nikki’s party, and those guys were all there. But, like, it was for her birthday so I got footage of nearly everyone saying something. We could get the tape and Jensen would have a for-sure shot of who they were.”

For a minute, Jared could only stare at Chad; his jaw dropped until he snapped it closed with a click. “You couldn’t have thought of this sooner? It wouldn’t have been more than a little helpful.”

Chad just rolled his eyes. “Chill out; I wasn’t even thinking about the tape. Why would I? Anyway, point is, you can go get it _now_ , hand-deliver it to pretty boy, and there you go.”

“Stop calling him pretty boy,” Jared scowled but he was already standing, heading for the door. It probably wasn’t the smartest thing to go get the tape, it being evidence and all, but Jared figured Jensen would have to come up with some creative reasoning behind the tape anyway; it’d just be easier if Jared went and got it himself. “Where is it?”

Chad rolled his lips together, humming softly before he clapped. “My closet, top shelf. My mom hasn’t cleared the place out yet -- at least not last time I checked. There’s a box in the far left corner of my closet; the tape should be in there.”

“Okay.” Jared nodded and grabbed his coat from the rack, shoving his keys in his pocket. “You better just come if I call you.”

Turning, he left the room before Chad could point out how not in control of his appearances he was. After all, the tape would be a good excuse to call Jensen, and not stalkerish at all.

-=-=-=-

In the past, Jared had only been to Chad’s apartment a couple of times and he was more than a little nervous going there now. If someone saw him, they might call the cops, and then Jared would have to do some quick thinking. He tried to look like he belonged in the building as he headed up to the third floor, head tilted down to watch his progress.

When he did look up, it was to find Chad’s open front door, the edges splintered as if someone had forced their way in. Jared’s brows furrowed in confusion and he slowly slid forward, gently pushing the door open with his fingertips.

“Hello?” he called moments before he realized that probably wasn’t the smartest thing he’d ever done.

The noise in the back of the apartment immediately stopped and Jared’s breath hitched. He had to move, get out of there, because anyone _good_ being in Chad’s apartment wouldn’t be breaking in.

Jared bumped into the door as a man rounded the corner, heading for him at nearly a run.

“You must be the little dipshit snitch makin’ up lies,” the man hissed, not stopping until he was crowding into Jared’s space.

“I-I- no. I don’t know what-- M’just here for Chad’s mom,” Jared whispered, sinking back against the door and praying the man would believe him.

“Bullshit,” the man growled and reached out, fingers snapping out and curling around Jared’s throat. “I know what you’re here for.”

The lack of oxygen didn’t get to Jared near as much as the images he saw behind the man. There were six at least, six ghosts, and _Chad_. It appeared that Chad’s death had been the neatest of the lot, the signs of his wound nearly invisible from the front. The others, like the boy closest to them, had been shot in the temple and the cold, dark, hatred in his eyes made Jared tremble.

“I’m gonna shut your mouth permanently, you little piece of shit. Then we won’t have any issues at all, will we?” The man was nearly hissing the words once more but Jared could hardly hear over the shrieking that had begun behind him.

These ghosts were perhaps the angriest Jared had ever seen or heard. Even Chad didn’t seem like he was before; like being faced with the man, he could only channel the cold hatred. Jared didn’t know whether it was the tightening of the man’s fingers or the strength of the ghost’s cold emotions that was causing the air to rush from his lungs.

“Tell me what you’ve _said_.” The man --the guy who’d _killed_ all these people-- pulled back enough to slam Jared back against the door again.

Jared couldn’t form the words, even if he could breathe, and his eyes were glued on the boy whose face was half blown off and kept getting closer. Jared was terrified, more of the boy than the man causing him real physical harm. Then suddenly everything was shifting and Jared was flying across the room, crashing hard into the coffee table. It snapped under his weight and pain shot up his side.

“Shit,” he gasped as he sucked in a huge breath, eyes fluttering quickly open and closed to chase away the lingering images of those ghosts. He didn’t care what harm the man did to him now, as long as their skin didn’t come in contact again.

Which was easy enough to believe until a foot connected hard with his ribs and Jared cried out in pain, twisting away from the contact, still desperately trying to catch his breath. It occurred to him that this was it, he was going to die here, and Jared found himself fleetingly wondering if there would be another person out there who might see his ghost one day.

It took one carefully-placed kick from Jensen to send Chad’s door crashing in. He leveled his gun on the man who was racing toward… _jesus!_ Jared. “Stop _right_ fucking now, or I _will_ shoot you.”

The man half skidded to a stop with a last glance at Jared where he was lying sprawled over a table. Jensen’s eyes narrowed and he gestured with his head.

“Get the fuck down on your belly. Now.”

As soon as the man began to sink down, Jensen moved over and pulled his cuffs out.

“Jay? You with me?” Jensen yanked the man’s hand back so hard he moaned as he knelt down against the small of the guy’s back.

It wasn’t making sense to Jared. Things were still foggy and hazy and pain was still flaring sharply through him. But he was sure he heard Jensen’s voice, and Jared thought maybe he was dead and had for some reason gone to haunt poor Jensen. He shifted onto his back and groaned, arm falling over his chest. If he was dead, it was very painful.

“Jen?” he asked quietly, voice rough.

“Just stay there, Jay. Just give me half a minute.” Jensen snapped the cuffs entirely too tight on the man’s wrists. He grunted and Jensen knelt a little harder on the guy’s back. “That’s my boyfriend, you _asshole_ ; you’re lucky I don’t shoot you.”

Yanking his phone out of his pocket, Jensen crawled over the man and the broken table to get to Jared.

“Ackles; badge number 485687. GPS on phone; I require ambulance and back-up at my current location.” His hand pressed gently to Jared’s forehead. “Yes, Ma’am.”

Shoving his phone back in his pocket, Jensen leaned down to stare into Jared’s face.

“Hey, you scared me. Just stay still ‘til the paramedics get here, okay? Are you shot? Did he…” Jensen’s hand fluttered down to Jared’s chest, pulling his jacket open, fingers checking for the telltale dampness of blood.

“Wha…” Jared blinked, still struggling to process everything that was happening. It felt a little like his mind was stuck in slow motion while the world was speeding around him. He finally got his gaze to settle on Jensen and he reached up, touching the man’s cheek. “Not shot. Just hurt. Did you… Jensen?”

“What? He’s down; can’t move unless he wants me to shoot him.” Jensen added the last part for the man’s benefit. Covering Jared’s fingers with his, Jensen closed his eyes. “Help is coming, okay?”

“M’okay,” Jared mumbled, shaking his head slightly. That wasn’t what he wanted to say, there was something else bothering him. “Am I your boyfriend?” Jared was pretty sure he smiled, just a little, because it was a pleasant bright spot in all the _bad_ of the moment. Certainly nicer to think about than the ghosts.

Laughing softly, Jensen smoothed Jared’s hair back off his forehead and glanced over quickly at the man who was still face-down on the floor. “All this mess and that’s what you ask me?” Leaning down, he pressed his lips to Jared’s quickly and whispered, “If you want to be.”

The sound of sirens grew louder and Jensen sat back up as he heard footsteps on the stairs.

“Police officer,” he called out as the steps stopped outside the broken door. His eyes caught colleagues and, relieved, he turned his attention back to Jared. “What are you doing here anyway?”

“Chad,” Jared whispered, knowing Jensen would get enough by that word alone to not ask any more questions. “And… I want.” He smiled at the older man then turned slightly, catching sight of another officer walking past. Jensen’s words from before snapped through Jared’s mind, _help is coming_ , and his heart skyrocketed.

“Jen,” he gasped, struggling to push up from the floor. “Don’t-- they can’t touch-- don’t let them. M’fine. M’okay.” Pain shot through Jared as he pushed up but it was better than being touched by so many people -- paramedics, nurses, doctors. If any of them weren’t wearing gloves, Jared couldn’t fathom the things he might see, and his mind was still reeling from the ghosts following the intruder.

Jensen could only begin to imagine what Jared would see and his stomach knotted up with nerves. Holding up his hand toward the paramedics as they set down their gear, Jensen shifted so he was leaning almost _over_ Jared, half lying on his side. “Okay, Jay. You gotta get some help ‘cause you’re hurting, and I need you to be alright. You just look at me, you listen to me, you hear me? We’ll just do this together. You and me. We good?”

There was a tight constricting band around Jared’s heart and he struggled to suck in a breath, forcing his eyes to stay on Jensen. “I’ve already seen too many today,” he whispered, not caring if the paramedics could hear him. “Don’t leave me. Please, don’t.”

Jensen’s smile softened and he leaned down to kiss the corner of Jared’s mouth. “I’m not gonna leave you. Not now, not ever. So… let’s you and me talk.” Jensen reached back discreetly and waved the paramedics forward without breaking eye contact with Jared. “You remember how we were talking about being together -- and how my job is crazy and I work too many hours and stuff like that? Look at me,” he added when one of the men grabbed Jared’s arm to take his blood pressure. “Just me. You remember that talk?”

Jared could feel fingers moving on his skin and he _knew_ if he looked beyond Jensen, he’d be able to see someone dead, and it would be as horrible as he imagined. But Jensen’s fingers moved across his jaw and Jared blinked, forcing his gaze to stay on the other man.

“Y-yeah,” he whispered, trying to take deep breaths so his racing heart wouldn’t alert the paramedics too much. Maybe he’d get lucky and they wouldn’t take him to the hospital.

“I was thinkin’ I got a lot of vacation time; this case is as good as closed. Maybe you and I could go off somewhere. A cabin on the lake? Somewhere just you and me. We’ll get to know each other, talk, touch, sleep for hours.” Jensen laughed and slid his hand further up Jared’s cheek to keep him focused. “You think you might wanna do that with me?”

A soft smile played across Jared’s lips and he closed his eyes, turning into Jensen’s touch.

“Yeah,” he breathed, trying not to focus on the fingers moving across his chest. The paramedic said something about checking for broken ribs but Jared thought he was already feeling better, that he’d probably just end up bruised.

When he opened his eyes again, he couldn’t avoid the _other_ face he saw. But that was because it was Chad, and Chad had never really known anything about boundaries. His head was just by Jensen’s and he was grinning. “Dude, you broke my table.”

“Chad,” Jared whispered and laughed, swallowing the groan from the bite of pain. Yeah, probably a _big_ bruise. “We got him.”

“Yeah, I know, kid.” Chad laughed and his smile softened to something small and fond. “Guess it’s time for me to move on then. Thanks. Tell my mom… just, you know, how much I loved her. Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Jared breathed, his chest pinching tightly at the idea of losing Chad all over again. But, he thought, at least this time he wasn’t going to be left completely alone. It was like Chad’s last gift to him was to give him Jensen, and Jared couldn’t be thankful enough. “Chad…” he whispered, staring up at his friend.

“Don’t worry, man; you’re gonna be just fine. You’re gonna lose your virginity to this cop here, and make him fall in love with you, then any time someone gives you crap, he’ll kick their asses. You’ll see, you won’t even miss me.”

Jared’s smile faded and he blinked away tears, watching as the image of his friend faded.

“I will,” he insisted quietly, staring at thin air for a moment before sliding his eyes over to Jensen. He smiled sadly at the man, sniffing softly. “He’s gone.”

Jensen smiled sadly, heart aching at the tears in Jared’s eyes. “Oh. I’m sorry. But you said -- they… You said it’s okay. They go… someplace good?” His thumb swept away the tears under Jared’s eyes and he glanced over at the paramedic when there was a soft press on his shoulder.

The paramedic nodded. “He’s fine, just bruised and will need rest.”

Relief washed through Jensen. “Thanks.” Turning back to Jared, his smiled widened. “You hear that? I gotta take you home and take care of you for a while.”

“Yeah?” Jared sighed in relief, reaching out to touch Jensen’s arm. He _really_ liked the idea of Jensen taking him home and looking after him. “What about… work and stuff?”

“I _knew_ you were gonna hit on him,” Kane said as he leaned over Jensen’s shoulder. “Kane,” he announced to Jared. “I’m this idiot’s senior partner.”

Jensen’s smile faded and he leaned back to shove at Kane. “ _Now_ you show up? I was trying to call--”

“Well, I was right over there the whole time. I mean, unless, that is -- you _want_ to be the one who does all the paperwork. I was just thinkin’ because I’m the senior partner that I’d let you take off, you know, take care of the witness.” Kane raised his eyebrow and stood back up. “I can go, if--”

“Kane?” Jensen’s fingers slid down to Jared’s chest.

“Yup?” Kane grinned.

“You’re not quite as much of an asshole as I might have thought,” Jensen said softly.

Laughing, Kane kicked at his partner’s leg.

“Don’t get used to it,” he admonished as he walked over to haul the cuffed man to his feet.

Turning back to Jared, Jensen laughed.

“Okay, so… I’ve suddenly got some free time. You think you can sit up?” He slipped his hand under Jared’s neck and supported it as the taller man nodded.

Everything spun for a moment when Jensen first sat him up, and Jared gripped him tightly until it felt like the room had steadied.

“That guy…” Jared began quietly, watching the door where Kane was dragging the suspect off. Looking over at Jensen, Jared pursed his lips and shuddered. “Chad’s not the first person he’s killed.”

Jensen pushed up to a crouch and cradled Jared gently against his chest. “I figured. I put the pieces together when they identified some of the fingerprints at the scene… but… we’ll talk about that later.” Fingers tangled in Jared’s hair, Jensen pressed his lips to the top of the younger man’s head. “You comin’ home with me?”

“To your home?” Jared asked quietly, turning slightly to nuzzle into Jensen’s chest. His stomach churned slightly with nerves, but it was a lot more pleasant than before.

“Got a nice king-size bed, with a down quilt and these huge pillows. I make a mean omelet and a good cup of coffee. Oh, and I’m an awesome snuggler.” Jensen laughed and tilted Jared’s head back slightly. “Come home with me.”

“Okay,” Jared whispered, nodding slowly and allowing Jensen to gently pull him up to his feet. “How’d you know I was here?” he asked after a few minutes, once the ground had evened out.

“I didn’t. I mean-- the prints were-- one set was Chad’s girlfriend. I put two and two together once we had another set of prints. We picked up this… fuck… idiot… anyway -- leaned on him and… you know? We can talk about this later.” Jensen folded Jared into his arms and swayed back and forth slowly.

Jared had a few questions, and he’d rather get them out right away, but the heat of Jensen’s body was too pleasant to ignore. “Okay, take me home. To your home.”

He laid his head on Jensen’s shoulder, enjoying the whole _hugging_ concept.

“MMm. Best words I heard all day.” Jensen made sure he was supporting Jared’s weight and headed toward the door.

It took a surprisingly long time for them to make it down the three flights, mainly because Jared felt dizzy every three or four and Jensen had to stop and rub his back softly until the haze cleared from his vision. By the time Jensen was slipping him into the passenger seat of his SUV, Jared was exhausted and asleep before Jensen was even starting the vehicle.

A while later, the older man was waking him once more, smiling softly and leading him quietly up to his condo. Jared wished he was a little more _with it_ just so he could look around and maybe learn some pieces of the Jensen puzzle. Instead, he leaned into Jensen’s warmth and smiled sleepily, letting the shorter man guide him down the hall to his bedroom.

Jensen was saying something about making soup but Jared was far too caught up in the giant, fluffy bed before him. Tugging his shirt off, Jared tossed it to the side and turned to watch it fall on a stack of Jensen’s clothes already strewn about. He laughed softly and leaned against the wall, kicking out of his shoes, socks and jeans before crawling onto the bed.

It was quite possibly the softest bed Jared had ever felt. He sank into the blanket, flopping out on his stomach and inhaling the fresh, clean scent of the sheets. He was sure there were hints of Jensen’s smell there too but mostly it was spring air fresh, kind of perfect.

Most of the rest of the day passed in a blur. At some point, he managed to get under the blankets, and a bit later he remembered soup and Jensen’s soft words, the gentle, soft hum of them lulling him quickly to sleep.

Jared has no idea how long he slept, except the clock said nine AM when he finally woke long enough to really feel _awake_. Well, that and… he was so pleasantly _warm_. Jensen’s arms were wrapped around him, holding him close, Jared’s head pillowed on his chest, and he couldn’t help grinning.

 _God_ , he never imagined being held when he slept. Jensen was the most amazing thing that had ever happened to him; Jared couldn’t imagine how he’d gotten so lucky. For a while, he simply watched the man, moving steadily up with each breath Jensen took. He was breathtaking like this, features soft and smooth with sleep, and Jared suddenly wanted to be _everything_ with him, because how could he ever let anything so perfect go?

Shifting forward, Jared waited; relieved when he didn’t feel near the amount of pain he had the day before. He thought maybe the combination of the ghosts and the violence had made things so horrible. Now, though, _now_ he felt completely human.

And very, _very_ aware of the warm heat of Jensen’s body beneath his.

Dipping down, Jared hesitated a moment, swallowing back thick nerves before his lips brushed along Jensen’s collarbone. Kissing skin? He could completely handle that. And really, he _wanted_ this. And Jensen? This man was perfect; he knew what Jared was and he accepted it, he wanted him here, he wanted to be together, and that was more than Jared had ever thought he would get.

Spurred on by his thoughts, Jared shifted into Jensen’s side, moaning as his hip slid along Jensen’s, rolling across the already hard, swollen heat beneath his boxers. Sure, it was a little shameless, but -hell- he’d been waiting his whole life; he couldn’t help it. Moaning quietly, Jared let his hand trail slowly across Jensen’s chest, mapping every inch as his lips pressed just slightly firmer onto Jensen’s skin.

Jensen was used to being jolted awake by his phone or waking to the stir of anxiety over an open case that had been gnawing at him. Being woken by _Jared_ , or more precisely, Jared’s lips, heat and the press of his body -- was about the best thing he’d ever felt.

“Hey,” he murmured thickly.

For a moment, Jared simply hummed, quite sure he’d mastered the confidence of kissing along Jensen’s body. Sure, if Jensen called him on it, he’d probably spaz a little but Jared figured he could stay in the zone. And he could pull Jensen there too. Lips parting, Jared slid them along Jensen’s neck, up to his jaw, finally brushing slowly over the other man’s.

“Hey,” he breathed into the kiss, hands fluttering down Jensen’s sides.

“Mornin’,” Jensen murmured. He smiled against Jared’s mouth, tongue flicking forward to run along the perfect bow of his top lip. Every inch of skin that Jared touched felt like it was alive and he could feel the hard press of Jared’s cock against his body. “Jay? You… you feeling better?”

“Uh-huh,” Jared whispered, the rush of nerves causing his skin to tingle. He didn’t really know much about the art of seducing someone and he wondered if it was obvious that he was fumbling his way through these touches and kisses, hoping something would spark to make Jensen _want_ him. “Feelin’ good,” Jared murmured and slid his lips down along Jensen’s jaw once more. “How’d you sleep?”

“Better than usual,” Jensen answered softly. It was a little hard to concentrate on talking when Jared’s lips were sliding wet and warm across his skin. Each time Jared’s hands shifted, Jensen had to struggle to breathe normally, struggle to keep his body from arching up. He settled for sliding his fingers into Jared’s hair and gripping it tight enough that Jared moaned softly. “You… makin’ me a little crazy.”

Jensen’s words made Jared’s stomach flutter with nerves and anticipation and he pushed up enough to meet the older man’s eyes, smiling down at him. “Then I’m on the right track.”

He was sure there were rules about morning breath and kissing but watching Jensen’s tongue slide across his lips made it impossible for Jared to ignore. He dropped down once more and slanted his lips over Jensen’s, fingers coming to rest just over the elastic of the man’s briefs.

Jensen let out a sound that was a little close to being a whimper when Jared’s hands moved over his crotch.

“I… Jay? You, uh…” He laughed softly and shook his head. Usually, he wasn’t reduced to monosyllables until he’d actually been naked with someone. Trying again, Jensen slid both hands into Jared’s hair. “There’s no rush, you know.”

“That’s easy for you to say,” Jared huffed a soft laugh, shaking his head then tucking into the curve of Jensen’s neck. “This is- I’ve just…” Jared groaned and flopped over onto his back, dropping his forearm over his overheated face. “How old were you the first time you fooled around with a guy?”

“Sixteen,” Jensen answer quickly. Scooting down the bed, he rolled over onto Jared and pushed his arm out of the way, holding his wrist pinned to the pillow. “Where’d you go? You can’t start something like that and just…” It was a little beyond Jensen’s control, the way his hips rolled down against Jared’s, and even though he bit down on his bottom lip, he still let out a moan.

“Oh god,” Jared gasped, his body arching up into Jensen’s as heat crashed through him. His heart felt a little like it’d slammed into double time, and his fingers curled along Jensen’s arms and slid up, over his shoulders. “I- I want this,” he whispered through unsteady breaths, staring up at Jensen. “I want you.”

Jensen’s lashes fluttered slightly as he stared down at Jared. Those eyes that had seemed so full of fear the first time he’d met the man were darker now, glistening. Lowering himself slowly, Jensen closed his eyes as their bodies fit together, his chin to Jared’s neck, hands over his shoulders, their hips slotted together as their legs twined.

He could feel how Jared’s breathing sped up by the rise and fall of his chest. The steady shudder of his body under Jensen’s only increased as he finally managed to get his mouth on Jared’s neck. He tasted salty-sweet, and Jensen nipped his way down the long neck and across Jared’s shoulder.

Jared couldn’t stop moving his hands over Jensen’s body, loving the way the skin felt so warm and silky smooth under his touch.

“Jen,” Jared moaned softly as their bodies moved together, his hips lifting almost out of his control. It was all kind of a little maddening and Jared had never felt so much in his life.

“Do you--?” Jared half gasped the question when Jensen’s teeth grazed over his skin. His fingers curled and nails dragged down the man’s shoulder as he rode out another shudder of pleasure. “Do you want me?” He managed to whisper the question, closing his eyes at the renewed flutter of nerves.

Sighing softly against Jared’s chest, Jensen smiled then looked up.

“I want you, Jared. I want to be with you and I want… us. I want _us_.” He paused, gazing up at Jared.

“Okay,” Jared nodded, smiling down at the other man and wetting his lips. He wasn’t sure how many times he’d ask Jensen to reassure him but he figured it would take a while to truly believe it. His fingers grazed over Jensen’s cheek, running along the older man’s slightly swollen lower lip.

Jensen closed his eyes and let his tongue catch just the tips of Jared’s fingers. “Wanted you when I saw you. You’re beautiful, Jay. Your eyes are gorgeous, but you know what it was?”

While he waited for Jared to murmur some kind of answer that was hardly recognizable, Jensen mouthed his way down to a nipple and tugged at it gently with his teeth.

A sharp moan fell from Jared and his body arched up into the slight sting. He forced himself to breath in deeply, trying to calm the rush of _want_ , and it took a few long moments for him to realize Jensen was waiting for him to speak.

“What?” he finally breathed out, fingers sliding back into Jensen’s hair.

“Was the way you cared about Chad. You were so brave, but you looked so scared.” Jensen’s lips moved lower, his tongue tracing the lines of Jared’s ribs. He let his nose dip into Jared’s bellybutton and laughed softly when Jared’s entire body kind of lifted up toward him.

Fingers splayed wide on one hand, Jensen slid it up Jared’s body to hold him still. The fingers on his other hand curled over the waistband on the younger man’s boxers and lifted them slowly over his cock. The flesh was swollen and red, and Jensen ducked down to brush dry lips over the rigid flesh.

The curse that fell from Jared’s mouth was loud enough he was embarrassed by it, but Jensen seemed only to enjoy it. He’d never been able to guess that it would feel like this. The heat of Jensen’s lips just barely brushing his skin was enough to make Jared feel like he’d explode right there on the spot.

“Jensen, _god_ ,” Jared moaned low in his throat and lifted his hips, desperate for more of that heat. Jared reached down to touch Jensen wherever he could reach, fingers combing through the other man’s hair, loving the way the silk strands moved along his skin.

Groaning, Jensen sat back on Jared’s thighs so he could trail his eyes over his lover’s body.

“You really _are_ gorgeous,” he murmured. As his palm slid down Jared’s belly, his wrist brushed against the fiery flesh of the younger man’s cock.

His heart was thumping hard and fast just _looking_ at Jared. The lines and curves of his body, the creamy flesh, and the way it was all rippling and moving under him. Eyes locked with Jared’s, he brought his hand to the swollen shaft and curled his fingers around it. The flesh was smooth and hot and he squeezed gently, and then twisted his wrist to slide his fist up to the sensitive head.

Jared could barely breathe, like Jensen’s touch was literally pulling him apart from the inside out.

“Oh, Jesus,” Jared groaned and rocked up into Jensen’s fist, eyes clenching shut as his fingers curled into the bed sheets at his sides. He was pretty sure Jensen was going to literally kill him. And he was kind of really okay with that.

“Jensen,” Jared moaned and tilted up, forcing his eyes open so he could stare at his boyfriend. “Kiss me,” Jared breathed, fairly sure he was more than a little addicted to Jensen’s lips.

Jensen fell forward and slid off Jared’s body so he could continue to stroke his lover’s shaft, slowly, teasing. His lips parted over Jared’s and his tongue pushed forward, licking those soft lips open; Jensen moaned as their tongues slid together.

Moaning loudly into the kiss, Jared rolled slightly to face Jensen, sliding his hand down the shorter man’s back until his fingertips could tuck just slightly under the elastic. He sucked Jensen’s tongue hard, slipping slowly around to pull the material out and just barely push down. He pulled from the kiss and blinked his eyes open, staring into his boyfriend’s darkening gaze. “Can I touch you?”

Shoving at his briefs, Jensen twisted and wriggled until he could kick them off then grinned up at Jared. Pressing closer, grin fading to a slighter smile, Jensen licked his lips as his fingers curled back around Jared’s hard flesh. “I’d… uhgod, yeah, really like it.”

Jared’s lips twitched in a smile and his hand came to rest flat against Jensen’s chest. His hips were slowly rolling up into Jensen’s touch and he couldn’t help dipping in to capture Jensen’s lips in a soft kiss. Once more the flare of nerves burned through him as his hand slid lower, the back of his fingers sliding across overheated flesh. Pushing past the last swell of nerves, he slowly curled his fingers around Jensen’s swollen cock, instantly loving the burning heat soaking into his skin.

Jensen shivered at the tentative touch and his breath hitched. Jared’s lips were smooth and soft, his breath warm, and Jensen could feel himself just losing the ability to care about much more than the man in front of him.

When Jared pressed harder into the kiss, Jensen let his hand slide lower, turning his wrist so he could slide his fingers over the velvet soft skin of Jared’s balls. His lover let out a soft cry and Jensen pressed him down against the mattress, _taking_ his mouth, sweeping his tongue through every inch of that wet heat.

Pleasure curled thick and burning through Jared as he learned the feel of his lover’s skin, matching each of Jensen’s strokes with his own. It felt like his hips couldn’t stop moving, struggling up for each touch.

Jerking back from the kiss, Jared gasped, squeezing Jensen along the base and dragging up.

“God, I- I want--” Jared groaned and pushed up into the kiss once more, thrusting his tongue forward hard into Jensen’s mouth.

Sensing that Jared was drawing close to his peak, Jensen rolled back over his lover’s body. The instant their cocks slid together, he arched his back and rolled his hips against Jared. And _God_ , Jared’s body writhed beneath him like he was on fire. His long fingers dug into Jensen’s back, nails dragging down as their bodies rubbed and slid together.

“Oh, God…”

Sealing his mouth over Jared’s, Jensen snapped his hips down hard. The slick precome from their cocks felt warm on his belly; Jared’s hands slid down to grip his ass and Jensen could feel himself starting to lose control.

The dizzying heat and friction from Jensen’s body was too much for Jared to handle. He could imagine, so easily, what _more_ would feel like, and it sent his mind reeling. Pleasure sparked along his skin and Jared arched up into Jensen’s frame, his fingers digging hard into the shorter man’s skin.

Jared’s orgasm caught him off guard; the moan building low in his throat and nearly causing his entire body to shake. He’d never come so hard in his life, and Jensen’s tongue was still sliding along his own. Jared was fairly certain he was going to pass out from overstimulation and the thought brought a slightly giddy laugh to his lips, caught in a moan into his lover’s mouth.

Jensen kissed Jared through the arch of his body, his lips lingering there as Jared’s frame twitched and twisted beneath him. Then Jensen’s hips slid forward again, his cock sliding slickly along Jared’s and his orgasm hit him hard. Every muscle in his body tensed and he all but collapsed onto Jared, hands tangled in the other man’s hair as he struggled up to lick at Jared’s mouth.

Sinking back into the mattress, Jared panted roughly, arms slowly slipping around Jensen’s shoulders. He’d never felt so amazingly relaxed, like Jensen had somehow managed to make all the things weighing down his past simply faded away. Jared couldn’t help a soft laugh, head turning so his nose slid through his lover’s hair.

“Orgasms give me weird thoughts,” he mumbled, pressing a soft kiss to Jensen’s ear.

Chuckling softly, Jensen struggling to shift to the side so he could peer up at Jared.

“Should I be proud or hurt?” He couldn’t stop touching Jared, wanted to be as close as possible and just _stay_ there.

“Proud? Maybe flattered?” Jared suggested with a grin, pressing forward to kiss Jensen once more. He never wanted to move from this bed, wanted it to simply be him and Jensen _forever_. Which was probably ridiculous but Jared didn’t mind. “God, that was amazing.”

“Okay, I’m proud. I like being amazing.” Jensen laughed again and nestled closer so he could breathe in the new scent of _them_. “We can be good, you know. Together… you and me.” His smile spread across his face and he wrapped a strand of Jared’s hair around his finger.

Grinning even brighter, Jared nodded and ran his hands slowly up and down Jensen’s back, rubbing away the lingering drops of sweat. “I think you’re right. Pretty sure we’re gonna be epic together.” Jared couldn’t get over the _together_ thing. He wasn’t used to thinking of himself having someone. “You still gonna take your vacation?”

“Yeah, ‘course. Wanna get to know you.” Jensen smiled and settled his cheek on Jared’s shoulder. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything,” Jared murmured, sliding his nails up through Jensen’s hair. He grinned up at the ceiling, turning to brush his lips over Jensen’s temple.

“Did Chad… was he okay with me? With… me and you?” Jensen wouldn’t even ask anyone else that question but he _knew_ how important Chad’s friendship had been to Jared. It mattered.

Jared shifted back slightly, blinking at Jensen in surprise. That was probably the last question he imagined being asked, and Jared’s heart swelled slightly when all he saw was genuine concern in Jensen’s eyes.

“He teased you a lot. Which means he liked you. And… Before he left, you know, for good, he said we’d fall in love and you’d always be there to have my back. So, it’s like you had his blessing.” Jared laughed softly, shifting forward to press his lips hard against Jensen’s, just in case the man didn’t know how much it meant that he’d asked that.

Jensen liked the sound of that: _fall in love_. He liked it almost as much as the feel of Jared kissing him without the slightest hesitation. Humming softly, Jensen slid his leg over Jared’s body and pressed up against him.

When Jared finally pulled back, Jensen smiled. “Wanna go on vacation with me? Spend days walking and hiking? Swim in a lake? Cuddle in front of a fire?”

“Yes,” Jared answered without hesitation, beaming at the older man. “Can we see absolutely no other people? Just you and me?” Jared thought it would be great for them, like he could relax some of his nerves about being out and Jensen could get to know the _real_ him.

“Yes; in fact, I insist on it. You’re mine. Don’t want to share you.” Jensen gathered Jared into his arms and squeezed him tightly. “Smores,” he added, the word muffled against Jared’s chest.

Jared was pretty sure his grin was starting to look ridiculous; his cheeks were starting to hurt and he clenched his arms tightly around Jensen.

“Not sure you’ll want me all hyped up on sugar,” Jared whispered, barely fighting off the laughter.

“Smores are more than one food group. They’re healthy -- and you’ll _need_ the energy.” Jensen nipped at Jared’s chest playfully. He could _really_ get used to being with someone with a smile so bright it lit up the entire fucking room.

“Is that so? Sounds like one hell of a promise.” Jared squirmed beneath Jensen, biting his lip for a moment before rolling them both. His legs fell on either side of Jensen’s hips and Jared stared down at his boyfriend, the smile on his lips softening. “I’m really glad I met you.”

Nodding slowly, Jensen smiled as his hand slid up Jared’s thigh. “I’m really glad you met me too.” He squeezed his boyfriend’s leg slightly. “So… about all these things you’re gonna need energy for…”

A slow grin stretched across Jared’s lips once more and he laid his hand flat on Jensen’s chest, not turning his gaze away as he slowly dipped down.

“Yeah, about those,” Jared murmured then slanted his lips over Jensen’s, letting his eyes fall closed. There was really nowhere else he’d rather be.


End file.
